The Value of the Engagement Period
- :Ali Akbar Mazaheri
Adopted from the Book : "Youth and Spouse Selection" by : "Ali Akbar Mazaheri"
1- From a psychological point of view, instinctual deprivations cause spiritual problems (complex) and unbalance man spiritually. And sexual deprivation is of the deepest of them, which, according to some psychologists (who are extremists) , is the root of all the moral aberrations and deviations and the social crimes.
Reflection of the difficulty of sexual deprivations:
after th period of deprivation ends, one is involved and entangled in the reflections of it which become the cause of mistrust among wives in the shape of evil and polygamy and bring about family turmoil and disturbances. The only remedy to it is timely sexual saturation and satisfaction.
With these explanations is it suitable to invest in police, judicial and administrative operations or the promotion and expansion of engagement and timely sexual saturation? If we say engagement is the guarantee of human spiritual balance and the factor of preventing moral and social deviations and aberrations we would not have said anything wrong.
2- The love instinct, which is satisfied in infancy by a mother's kisses exerts more pressure on the young generation's spirit at the time of youth.
The young girl and boy have a thing lost and they feel themselves in a state of unfamiliarity, until such time as they find it. They go around, searching for a heart full of love and affection. It is better to say they are after a spiritual shelter so that they may feel self-assured and at peace beside that, and prepare themselves for the solution of life's problems and combat against death causing factors. The pressure of this need is not less than that of the sexual need.
The plan of engagement secures the best shape of spiritual needs and satisfaction of the young generation.
3- The family is the centre of the conduct and behaviour of two human bing with two different and variant organism, two cultures and two viewpoints towards life. Most people marry to achieve and lay hand upon their unrealised aspirations and desires (desires unrealised by their parents.)
Naturally, such and environment is the centre of differences and oppositions and the rot of most separations and divorces lies in these very differences.
The engagement period is most suitable to solve these disputes and differences, since under the shelter of passionate love the differences are changed into uninformity and homology and the ground for a stable, sweet life is gained.
If we estimate the negative effects of these family differences upon children, we would fairly decide that the engagement period is the factor of prosperity and felicity.
4- Personal nobility and human personality is the factor, which stops man from committing indecent works. It is due to the pressure of the unsatisfied and unfulfilled natural needs that man does not have the strength to endure them and thus tramples human nobility and decency under his feet.
If the natural needs of the youth and their difficulties are taken into consideration and get satiated on time in a legal shape, the ground for most of the moral and social aberrations and deviations is finished and the immoral propaganda of the west becomes ineffective.
5- Dispressed and scattered thoughts are a danger which threaten the brains of youths. If the Islamic revolution requires active, nventive an delightful brains, it should stop young brains from lusty thoughts.
Put yourself in the place of a pious and revolutionary youth. How many years can the thirst be endured and remained inattentive and indifferent towards stimulating and tempting factors? The reckless youth satisfy themselves through unfair mens, but the one who does not want to commit sin; shall the aberrant thoughts leave him alone?
Experiments and experience of psychology has proved that one hour of deviational thoughts (particularly lustful ones) drain the mind empty of all its energies. As a result, the concentration of thought, power, subtlety, freshness, initiative, inventiveness and creativeness will he annihilated.
If engagement is the solution to all these problems, would parents denounce and reject it?
If engagement is the best way to fight and combat the hackneyed western culture and the satellite, would the executive remain indifferent to it? All that is important is that slogans alone are not sufficient and all modern propagational media must be co-ordinated. What happens if the television telecasts the ceremony of two engaged spouses during their initial contact, at the time of selection, and in a joint journey?
What if the aggregation of the marriage contract is shown in a simple way including the moment when the parents hand over the girl's hand into the boy's and the clergyman prays for their prosperity?
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