Rafed English

Showing Love Through Words

  1. Speak your love. Clear communication will let your partner know how much you love them. Speaking from your experience is a way of sharing yourself so that your partner can hear it. You might say, "My heart goes pitter patter when you walk into the room" or "I think about you throughout my day, and each time I do, I smile." Say whatever is true.

    • Praise your spouse's talents and accomplishments. Figure out, if you haven't already, the ways in which your partner thinks they're unique or distinguished. Spend your time reinforcing those traits. If your husband fancies himself an intellectual, praise him for his smarts; if your wife fancies herself a fashionista, praise her for her style.
    • Get used to talking about feelings. Don't shy away from talking about what emotions you're going through. Dialogue about the emotions your partner is having. Share even inconsequential things that happened during your day, as it will make your partner feel more intimately involved in your life.
  2. Speak the truth. Telling your partner the truth is a loving thing to do because it shows trust and respect. The truth doesn't have to be positive to be meaningful. It just needs to be true. Show your spouse unconditional love, but not unconditional acceptance. Always be willing to accept correction from your spouse too.

    • Don't raise your voice, used loaded words, or generalize using words like "always" and "constantly." These can make the truth sting more than it needs to.
    • Don't be caught up into the cultural notion that to love is to never seek to help someone better himself or herself. Trust that your significant other actually wants you to tell them the truth.
    • Use gracious words to point out your spouse's weaknesses and offer constructive suggestions on how to improve these things. If your spouse is especially sensitive, balance out criticism with praise.
  3. Find out your partner's preferred "Love Language." Do they know you love them when you speak words of love? Or maybe they feel loved by your acts of service? Some people feel loved by receiving little gifts, and others by loving touches. Real love is not based on your preference but your partner's.
    • Things that men might consider about women: A little physical affection goes a long way. Guys don't often show physical affection, and sometimes a little gesture like a kiss on the neck or a spontaneous embrace is just what she needs. Don't think of it as reassurance; think of it as reaching out.
    • Things that women might consider about men: Men sometimes think of physical affection as unnecessary or even clingy. That's not to say that you can't show your love; just be aware that to him it's not as important. Give your spouse time to voice his emotions, and don't punish him if he can't.

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