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Showing Love Through Actions

  1. Start off small. Small things can make a big difference if you put a little thought and feeling into it. Your wife or husband ultimately wants to know that, at the end of the day, you're thinking of them. All of the following can be done for little or no money.

    • Suggest an after-dinner walk through the neighborhood.
    • Turn one room into a dance floor and ask your spouse for a dance.
    • Camp out in your own back yard.
    • Read to your spouse in bed (with or without comic commentary).
    • Go to the gym together (some couples swear that sex afterwards is great).
    • Talk about ideas for a romantic vacation and store the details for safekeeping.
  2. Progressively get bigger. It's nice to mix up the small, more mundane actions with bigger, more meaningful ones. These ones take a little more work and may cost (some, although not very much) money, but they'll be worth it when your spouse screams with excitement or wriggles with joy.
    • Make a video montage of your wedding night.
    • Reach out to your in-laws and plan a surprise birthday party.
    • Recreate your first date, first kiss, or first run-in.
    • Write and record your spouse a love song (can be sincere or tongue-in-cheek).
    • Create a storybook fictionalizing the beginning of your relationship.
  3. Show your love through thoughtful actions. They can be simple things, like drawing a bath, giving a massage, doing the dishes, or writing a poem. Choose an action that you know your partner will appreciate. Remember, denying yourself never means doing things begrudgingly. If you show affection, but drag your feet along the way, you may as well not be doing it.

    • Buy something for him/her when you know that they specifically want it. If he wants a Craftsman set of tools, or she wants a Fendi handbag, they might be upset at your well-meaning attempts to get them or make them something similar.
    • Make something for them when you're trying to show effort. It doesn't take much effort to buy your spouse what you know they want, but it sure takes effort thinking of a poem, writing it down, and setting it in a frame. This shows real commitment.
    • Numerous small gestures are easier than one big one. In case you thought you could wing it and make up for all your normal neglect, sorry: It's much easier to do small things for your spouse at regular intervals than it is busting out a grand gesture every blue moon. Practice small and steady.
  4. Spend time being present with your wife. (This is often the least used, but the most powerful form of loving.) Turn off the phone, the TV, computer, and the radio and sit together allowing yourselves to experience each other. Being present with your husband or wife obviously provides the opportunity to serve him or her, so be available to love your spouse.

    • When in doubt, ask questions. People love talking about themselves, and your spouse is no different. Pepper them with great "how," "what" or "when" questions instead of simple "yes/no" questions. Great conversations rely on great questions. Become a connoisseur.
    • Really get to know their past. Some spouses are surprised to learn, after many years, everyday details about their partner's past. Showing a concerted interest in their past shows them that you really care about who they are.

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