In this age level girls have already reached puberty in the eyes of Islam and will reach puberty “scientifically”. Meanwhile boys are entering manhood and are starting to feel their bodies change as well as their mind set, feelings, and moods.
So parents must:
1- Be aware of whom their children befriend because like what has been reported from Jesus (A.S) “The wicked friend infects (wickedness)”(1). Friends are like escalators some take you up, others take you down, so cautioning our children and teaching them whom to befriend is vital.
2- Teach their children Fiqh or as it is known in the west “Sharia Laws”. Learning Fiqh is considered an obligation in some cases and in others it is highly recommended by the infallibles Imams as “Uff (2) for every Muslim who does not put in their week a day in which they learn about their religion or ask about their religion.”(3). It is a door for parents to give an outline about adultery, masturbation, and these types of topics, warning the children and cautioning them about the forbidden acts and their punishments, teaching them how to have self-control, and why do we have to act according to the creator’s orders.
3- Take control of their kids and discipline them correctly. “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.”(4)
Some families like to give their child “private space” and take it too easy. This leads up to the child becoming spoiled and doing whatever they desire, so parents must take charge and control their children’s activities, even bursting the “privacy bubble” if they have to, control the foods which the children intake, and rebuke them if they see any action or word that is unlawful.
1. Wassail Al-Shia v12 p23
2. used to indicate disgust
3. Bihar Al-Anwar v1 p176
4. 66:6 (translated by quran.com)