Rafed English

Child sexual education (1)

One of the most embarrassing, hard, yet important talks for parents is the talk about sex. It is so hard and embarrassing that some parents even devolve it  all to their children’s friends, school, and in our present time social media to teach them about sex.

This reliance is very dangerous for the child’s upbringing for many different reasons. This can lead the child fall into the hands of predators, or get indulged in adultery or masturbation and moral degeneracy. Yet there are many sides in “sex talk”, so we have to look into each one and take a closer look on it based on the ages of the child.
3 to 5 age range: This is the age range that parents can take advantage of because the child is still like a blank page and still does not have any “sexual knowledge”. In this phase parents should start to aware the child of their private part and its privacy by telling them to cover up, not to show it off, not to let anyone touch it or look at it, nor should they look at someone else’s, in a way suitable for them to understand. The Prophet (pbuh) said “It is not permissible for parents to look at their child’s private nor is it permissible for the child to look at the parents' private” and the Prophet also said “May Allah curse the looker and looked at (naked)”(1). After understanding the privacy of this body part they should be aware of predators, so they should be alert that if anyone tries to touch them they should not allow it and they must tell the parents right away. Parents also must stay alert to any suspicious activity or people. A final and important step in this stage is to plant modesty and shyness about sexual activity and the body parts which will be very useful in coming stages. The importance of this implanting can be seen in the sayings, for example Imam al-Sadiq (a.s) stated “Whoever does not have modesty (shyness) shall not enter paradise”(2).

1.      Wasail Al-Shia v2 p56 
2.      Kanz Al-Uma’l v3 p125  

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