Rafed English

Selecting Husband

For the development and preparation of the children spiritually and psychologically the father has a great role to play that is why in the early stage, Islam laid emphasis on the selecting husband for laid down Islamic criterion to observe the hereditary and atmosphere that surround his brought up, his good and noble attributes because he is the model that the children follows; as his attributes and ethics reflected on them. In addition through the continuous living with the wife (the mother) also acquired some of his ethics and attributes.

The Prophet (Peace be upon him and his descendants) laid emphasis on choosing a competent husband and describe him with his saying (peace be upon him and his descendants) "Competency is to be modest and to has opportunity" 55.

Competency is the one that descend from sound lineage, religious and elevated ethics.

Imam Assadiq (peace be upon him) has cautioned from getting marriage with a man having psychological sickness and said: "Don't married them but married on doubt lady because women takes from her moral, religion and personality" 56.

In choosing husband Islam put religiousness as the criterion. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Marry he that comes to you if you are pleased with his ethics and religion" 57.

It is clear that Islam prohibited getting Marriage to none Muslim in order to protect the integrity of the children and the family in all aspect like the ideology, conduct, spiritual and psychology for their effect on the wife and the children through their emulating the husband and his mode of life.

Islam has also forbids getting married to unreligious person and those whose conduct has perverted from Islamic system in order to save guard the family and the children from behavioral and psychological perversion.

Imam Assadiq (peace be upon him) has forbid getting marriage with a known fornicator. He (peace be upon him) said: "Don't marry a woman known to be fornicator and don't marry a man known to be fornicator expect you are aware of repentance from them" 58.

Imam Assadiq (peace be upon him) has also cautioned from getting marriage to an alcohol drinker. He (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever gave marriage of his daughter to an alcohol drinker has cut her kinship" 59.

Perverted person negatively affect the soundness of the children's conduct for the reflection of his conduct on them and his unwillingness to train them.

This is in addition to the problem he created on the wife which prevail the spread of unrest and psychological anxiety in the family's atmosphere and has made the family's life distant from tranquility, calmness and constancy that the children need for their physical and spiritual growth.

Verily the mode of life of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) and the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) stood on the basis of choosing well qualified person for their sons and daughters. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) did not give Fatima's marriage (peace be upon her) to his great companions when they seek his hand but he gave them answer that he is waiting for Allah's decision. He later gave her marriage to Ali bn Abitalib (peace be upon him) with the commandment of Allah the most High.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) encourages a Muslim woman by name Zulfa'i known to be related to the family of Areeqah and was very beautiful to get married to Jubair a Muslim who did not possess wealth or handsomeness except religion.


55 - Al-kafi vol-5:347/ 1st ch- The competency.

56 - Al-kafi vol-5: 348.

57 - Al-kafi vol-5: 348/ 2nd &3rd ch- last part.

58 - Makarimul Akh'laq: 305.

59 - Wasaa'il sh-shiyyah vol-20:79, Al-kafi vol-5: 347/ 1st ch- 29.

Adapted from the book: "The Child's Education in Islam" by: "Ismail Abdullah"

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