Married Life

From the teaching of Islam, it has considered selecting wife from two aspects: the heredity she descend from and the society where she lives and its reflection on her ways of life and conduct. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Choose for your semen because the maternal uncle is one of the spouses" 47.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Choose for your semen because the vein is a schemer" 48.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) does emphasize on selection of wife from the family that possess noble attributes of the hereditary effect it plays in the composition of the wife and that of her progeny. He (peace be upon him and his descendants) chooses Khadijah (peace be upon her) that delivered Fatima (peace be upon her) the best of the women. The Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) also followed this conduct by choosing their wives from descent families and making selections base on hereditary.

Islam laid emphasis on selecting wife from sound society and environment where she achieves good and sound conduct. It cautioned from unsound environment she is living. It also cautioned from marrying a beautiful ladies that was brought up from the fountain of evil. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Be aware of dung hill under the green grass ..... A beauty Women are fountain head of all evils" 49.

Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) also cautioned about prostitute and said: "Don't get married with a woman known to be prostitute" 50.

Because she will creates the preparedness for such a bad action in her children.

Imam Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) warned from getting married with a mad woman fearing of transferring the attributes to the child, he was asked of that, he (peace be upon him) said: "No but if he possess a mad slave girl he can have sexual relation with her and should not seek from her child" 51.

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) has also warned from getting married with a foolish woman because the attribute will transfer to the child and also did not attain the ability to give a sound training to the child: "Be aware of getting married to a foolish because her companionship is affliction and her children are lost" 52.

Tradition has made emphasis that religious person should be the criterion for choosing a spouse and the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) do encourage that. A man came to the to him requesting for marriage, he (Peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Be aware of a religious woman, she will make your hand full" 53.

Imam Assadiq (peace be upon him) gives precedence to religious before wealth and beauty and said: "If a man marries because of her wealth and beauty, he will deputize to that but if he marries because of her being religious, Allah will provide him with beauty and wealth" 54.

The woman that descend from sound family and lineage and was accompanied with religiousness has preceded in stages of education and her training to the children will be in line with the laid down Islamic laws for that respect and the recognized method will be generally accepted by the two spouses without contradiction nor opposition. The wife will be desirous to succeed in training processes and considered it an Islamic obligation before every thing. This obligation will made her shun any negative practices that will have effect on the children's emotional and psychological growth.

Notes:

47 - Al-kafi by Kulaini vol-5:332/ 2nd ch- selecting spouse, Printed by Daru Atta'aruf 3rd edition, 1401 A.H.

48 - Al-mahabba Al-baida'i vol- 3: 93 by Faidhi Kashaani, 3rd edition Jaamiyatil mudariseen Qom.

49 - Makaarimul Akh'laq: 304 -by Tabrasi - printed by Manshuraati sh-sherifa Rridah 2nd edition 1410 A.H.

50 - Makaarimul Akh'laq: 305 -by Tabrasi - printed by Manshuraati sh-sherifa Rridah 2nd edition 1410 A.H.

51 - Wasaa'ili sh-shiyyah vol- 20: 85 /1st ch-34 - by Huril Aamuli - printed by Muasasah Aali bait Qom 1st edition 1412 A.H.

52 - Al-kafi vol-5:354/ 1st ch prohibition from marrying foolish woman.

53 - Al-kafi vol-5:352/ ch - Virtues of marrying religious woman

54 - Al-kafi vol-5:333/ 3rd ch- Virtues of marrying a religious person

Adapted from the book: "The Child's Education in Islam" by: "Ismail Abdullah"