Rafed English

Nurse Your Wife

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

The husband and wife always need each other's cooperation and expression of love. However, this need becomes more intense at times of illness and on other similar occasions. An ill person, just as he needs a doctor and medicine, requires nursing and loving care. A good nurse would be able to help a patient recover better and faster. A woman also expects her husband to nurse her when she is bed-ridden. She expects him to care for her more than her parents.

A woman who works at home like a maid, deserves such loving care from her husband. She rightly expects her husband to take care of her. Paying for treatment and medicine is one of the usual expenditures of life and a man is duty-bound to provide her with the necessary money. A woman who is working at home without any wages, certainly has a right to expect her husband to pay for her treatment. There are men who are shamelessly unfair. They use their wives when they are healthy and able, but refuse to pay money when they are ill. Any little money men spend for their wives' treatment is accompanied by many complaints. Some men, if they feel the cost of treatment is high, might even lose their wives. Is this behaviour really fair?

"A woman was complaining about her husband. She said: 'I was working hard at home and went through many happy and harsh times with my husband. However, now that I have become ill my husband wants to leave me'." 227 Dear Sir! if you are interested in your happiness and your family's prosperity, you must take your wife to a doctor when she becomes ill. You must pay for her treatment. Moreover, you must nurse her kindly. Now that she has left her parents to live with you, she expects you to be more loving to her than her parents. She is your partner and the mother of your children. Sympathize with her and make her hopeful of a speedy recovery. Cook for her. Prepare suitable food and buy the prescribed items. Feed her. All this will make her happy.

Keep the children quiet. Be watchful of her at night. Whenever she is awake ask how she is. If she cannot sleep because of pain, then stay up with her. You can even ask your children to help you look after their mother. Do not ever leave your wife unattended, especially when she is in pain. At such times, your wife would notice your love and would in turn love you more.

She would be proud of you and would attend to you and the children more, once she is healthy again. "The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: 'The best of you is the one who is better towards his family, and I am to my family the best among all'." 228 "The Prophet (SA) of Islam also stated: 'Whoever makes efforts to realize a wish of an ill person, would be purified from his sins, just as the day he was born'. One of the Ansars (helpers who helped the Prophet (SA) settle in Madinah) asked: 'O Prophet (SA) of Allah! may my parents be sacrificed for you, what if the ill person is from amongst your family (Ahl al-Bayt)? Is there not more reward in this case?' The Prophet (SA) of Allah replied: 'Yes'." 229

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