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Keep the Secrets of Your Husband

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

Women usually like to know about their husbands' secrets, their earnings, their decisions about the future, and their work. They expect men not to hide anything from them. On the contrary men are not willing to tell their wives everything. As a result, some husbands and wives constantly argue over this matter . Some women say that their husbands do not trust them; do not let them read their letters; do not tell them the amount of their earnings; are not straight with them; do not answer their questions properly; and sometimes lie.

Incidentally, men do not mind telling their secrets to their wives. But they believe that their wives do not keep secrets; that they relate to others everything they know, and might even cause trouble for their husbands. If one intends to find out the secrets of others, it suffices for one to call on their wives. Some wives, by knowing their husbands' secrets, blackmail them, and thus misuse their husbands' trust in them.

Obviously men, up to a certain extent, have a point. Women, in comparison with men, are more under the influence of their emotions. When women become angry, it would be difficult for them to control themselves, and by knowing their husbands' secrets, they could put their men in trouble. Therefore, if a woman is interested in knowing her husband's secrets, she must be very careful not to speak of them anywhere without his permission. She must not even tell her best friends or relatives. It is not keeping a secret if you tell someone about it, and ask him not to repeat it to anybody, otherwise everyone will find out about it.

Therefore a wise person is one who does not tell his secret to anyone. "Imam Ali (AS) stated: 'The chest of a wise man is the safe for his secrets'." 77 "Imam ' Ali (AS) also stated: 'The benevolence of this world and the next is in two things: keeping secrets, and friendship with the good people; and all the evils are in two things: revealing secrets, and keeping bad company'." 78

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