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Be Clean and Beautiful at Home Also

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

It is customary with most women that whenever they go to a party or a gathering, they wear their best dresses and adorn themselves with the best. However, upon returning home, they take their dresses off and put on an old and shabby dress. These women are not particular about cleanliness at home and do not beautify themselves. They walk around the house with disheveled hair, stained clothes, and torn socks. In fact, the situation must almost be reverse, that is, a woman should adorn herself at home and charm her husband in order to conquer his heart and in order not to leave any gap for other women to fill. Why should she look beautiful for others? Is it proper for a woman to expose her beauty before the eyes of other men and to create problems for the youth?

"The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: ' Any woman who perfumes herself and leaves the house, is deprived from the blessings of the Almighty Allah until she returns home'." 72

"The Prophet (SA) also stated: 'The best of your women is one who is obedient towards her husband, adorns herself for her husband but does not reveal her adornment to strangers; and the worst of your women is one who adorns herself in the absence of her husband'." 73 Dear madam! winning the heart of a man, especially for a long time, is not easy. Do not think: "He loves me. I don't need to look beautiful for him or try to win his heart or entice him." You must always maintain his love towards yourself. Be sure that your husband would enjoy having a tidy beautiful, and clean wife, even though he may not express it. If you do not satisfy his inner desires and do not dress attractively at home, he may see beautiful and attractive women out of the house. He may then become disheartened in you and might deviate from the right path. When he sees attractive women, he compares you with them. If you are an untidy, careless, and disheveled woman, he would think that other women are angels who have descended from the heavens. So try to look attractive at home and be sure that he will not lose interest in you.

Read the following letter written by a husband:

One cannot distinguish my wife from my servant in the house. I swear by Allah that I sometimes think: I wish she would wear one of these dresses made for parties, at home. I wish she would throwaway those torn and worn out clothes. I have told her a few times: 'darling! at least wear those nice dresses at home on holidays.' She told me sourly: 'I don't need to be particular when I am at home; but if one day I look untidy in the presence of my colleagues, then it would be embarrassing for me'."

The reader might believe that while house keeping and cooking, a woman cannot dress up or look beautiful. This may be true but a housewife can have different clothes for doing the housework; and she can change her working clothes to proper ones while she is in the presence of her husband or for when he returns home. You can always comb your hair and keep yourself clean after the housework.

"Imam Baqir (AS) stated: 'It is incumbent upon a woman to perfume herself, to wear her best clothes, to adorn herself in the best way, and to meet her husband in this state day and night'." 74

"Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'Women should not give up adornment, be it only with a necklace. She should not have untinged hands, be it with a little henna. Even old women should not give up adornment'." 75

Be a Mother to Him

At the time of preoccupation and illness, one needs to be nursed by others. A nurse can assist the recovery of an ill person tremendously through kindness and loving care. Men are small children who have grown up. They still need motherly care. When a man gets married to a woman, he expects her to be a mother to him at times of illness and difficulty.

Dear madam! if your husband becomes ill, take care of him more than usual. Express your sympathy and pretend that you are extremely upset with this sickness. Console him, prepare all his requirements and keep the children quiet in order to keep him relaxed. If he needs a doctor or medicine, then act accordingly .Cook the food which he likes, and which is good for him. Ask about his health frequently. Try to stay by his bedside, as much as possible. If he is in so much pain that he cannot sleep, stay up with him, as much as possible. Once you wake up, go to him. Ask how is he. If he had not slept that night, then express your sorrow. Keep his room silent in the daytime. Your care for him would help him recover faster. He would appreciate your efforts and would love you more. Besides he would do the same for you if you ever became ill.

"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The Jihad of a woman is to care for her husband well'." 76

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