Rafed English

Be Resourceful when Times are Hard

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

Life is full of ups and downs. The wheels of fortune do not always rotate according to our desires. One goes through many difficult times. Everyone becomes ill. Many lose their jobs, and some may lose all their wealth. Many unpleasant incidents happen in the lives of everyone. A man and a woman, who have sworn allegiance to each others and signed a covenant of marriage, should walk along the path of life hand in hand. The covenant should be so firm that it could hold them together in sickness and in health, in richer and poorer, and in good as well as bad times.

Dear madam! if your husband becomes poor, must you add to his problems by having disagreeable behaviour. If he becomes ill, and bed-ridden, either at home or in the hospital, it is fair for you to increase your kindness towards him. You must nurse him, attend to his needs, and spend money for him. If you have money of your own you must pay for his treatment. Remember if you were ill, he would have paid for your health. Must you withhold your wealth in preference to your husband's health? If you fail to satisfy him at sensitive times like this, then he will be disappointed with you, and may even prefer to divorce you.

Here is a case to read about:

"A person came to the court to divorce his wife. He said: 'I became ill a few days ago and my doctor told me that had to have an operation. I asked my wife to lend me the money that she had saved. She disagreed and left my house. As a result, I had my operation in a state hospital. Now that I have my health back I am not prepared to live with a woman who prefers her money to her husband. How can one call this woman a 'wife'?" 84

Every conscientious person would acknowledge that, in the above-mentioned case, it was the man who was right. Such a woman who is not prepared to spend her money for the treatment of her husband, does not deserve the respected position of 'wifehood'. Dear madam! be careful not to act mercilessly at a time when your husband suffers from a permanent illness; must you leave him and your children? How can you desert a man with whom you have had many joyful days and nights? How do you know that a similar fate is not awaiting you? How can you be sure that another man will be any better? Do not be stubborn and selfish. Be sacrificial and devote yourself or the sake of Allah as well as your honour and children. Be patient and teach your children a lesson of devotion, love, and patience. You can be sure that, in this world and the next, you will be rewarded handsomely. Your devotion is the best way of showing your care for your husband which is placed at the same level as Jihad.

"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: ' Jihad of a woman is in taking care of her husband'." 85

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