Rafed English

Wild love!

Adapted from: "Sexual problems of Youths by: "Ayatullah Makarim Shirazi"

“Love” was wild and bloody from the beginning …

Writers and poets have always called Love ‘wild’.

Love, particularly a fiery one (it may not be called love if not fiery) does not recognize any limit or boundary. It transgresses social obligations, disregards moral concerns and is never compatible with prudence and advice.

That is why it is said: When love enters from one door, wisdom escapes from the other!

We have often found the story of “love” and “wisdom” and their conflicts in literary works.

That is why Carlyle, the famous British philosopher, rushes on love carelessly and calls it a sort of insanity or a combination of several types of insanity.

Otherwise, the magnificence and splendour of love, when it is applied as a powerful and creative factor, in the proper and legitimate way, is undeniable.

“Love” is known to be accompanied with “infamy” from the past, and there are popular stories about infamy of the “lovelorn lovers” among the past and present people.

Here, it would be better to have a short discussion about the mental causes of this issue, and find the source of this particular mental state, which is one of the requisites of love.

Love is like a fire which kindles the entire being of the lover, and changes all to its tint, that is the colour of fire. As if all faculties of the lover’s being are transformed into a single power, that is, the power of love.

In fact, the power of love is indebted to general mobilization of all powers and their focus on one point. Man’s various intellectual, emotional and instinctive powers originating from his being are like tributaries of a big river flowing in courses by virtue of the requirements of different lands. Obviously, if all the streams joined in one single course, the other lands dry up, and the single course floods!

On this account, the “restless lover” has no feeling and thought except the hot and fiery emotion of love. He always talks about the beloved. He seeks the beloved with all particles of his being, and any event with the least relation links him with the beloved in the form of a powerful association.

The dangerous stage starts from here when love does not accept any control, and the lover’s being surrenders quickly and entirely to a powerful and plunderer host like a vulnerable and defenceless city.

At this time, if sympathetic individuals do not help and support him, and do not guide him to the proper and legitimate way, he may take any action, because he is indifferent to everything (infamy and fame, sin and purity) except the attainment of the beloved.

He neither thinks of the morrow nor his reputation, or friends, relatives, or the social and moral obligations and customs.

Of course, he is attracted to everything unaware and without any “ill-will”. Even though he may lose the result of his past life or the entire future product in this transaction!

When he wakens (for impulsive loves, it happens shortly after sexual intercourse), he feels a rush of grief and sorrow for what he has lost and what he has done.

The dreadful regret for the past weighs on his mind and heart, but unfortunately, it is often too late and of no use.

The regret and awareness may be felt in the prison after committing a crime, or cutting off social relations and escape from home, parents and friends, living in solitude and or resorting to the centres of corruption and addiction, ….

The youths should beware of this big danger, which can begin with a glance. They should control themselves in the primary stages when it is controllable, and avoid the risky area.

They may forget the beloved through choosing healthy entertainments and hobbies, full time engagements in various educational, sports and similar activities, and should avoid associating with the ignorant and aberrant friends who kindle this fire, and think upon the evil consequences of this process.

They should keep the vacuum existing in their heart for a pure and sacred love to their future spouse, and absolutely avoid impulsive love affairs posing as sacred ones.

At this stage, their friends have an important responsibility to awaken them through friendly, endearing and empathetic ways before losing the opportunity of acceptance of advice and admonition.


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