Training Child about Obedience
- :Ismail Abdullah
Obedience never the less is simple and easy except that one is in need of training and practicing to conform to ones ability for execution. The child is in need of training and practicing of how to obey in order to low its difficulties to him and create cordiality between him and it. He will be interacting with his emotion and feelings so that it will change to his stable habit in his daily life. You present it to him with interest and zeal without stress or force or fatigue or weariness.
Islamic method of education commence by laying down fundamental rules that concord with the children's development for training about obedience putting in to consideration the mental and physical ability with the children.
Regards training for prayer the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said : "Order your children for prayer when they attain seven years of age and beat for leaving it when they attain nine years of age" 241.
In another narration : "Ordered your children for prayer when they attain seven years of age and beat them when they attain nine years of age" 242.
What is meant by beating is either the real beating or psychological punishment even though that the punishment is having a negative harm on the child but the effect is temporal that will quickly seize to exist. It is impossible to consider it a harm compare to the greater advantage that is training for prayer.
The Commander of the Faithful (peace be upon him) said : "Educate the younger ones in your house regards prayer (Salat) and purification by your tongue, when they attained ten years of age and refuses to pray, you beat them but not to exceed three" 243.
It is better the training should not be difficult for the child because it leads to disinclination from prayer and create psychological partition between him and prayer. From Imam Ali bn Al-Hussein (peace be upon him) (He would take children with him for Zuhr and Asr prayers at the same time and Magrib and Ishaa'i prayer at the same time, it was said to him in that same respect, he (peace be upon him) said : "It is higher and suitable to them than they haste to it, they don't forfeit it nor do they sleep on it and they don't feel engaged" and he don't take them for recommended prayers and he (peace be upon him) said : "if they can bear don't delay them more than obligatory prayers") 244.
It is incumbent on the parents to observe the physical and psychological preparedness of the child and don't burden him on what he is not able, you should commence with him the compulsory prayers and not recommended ones. If he has trained and familiarity occurs between him and prayer, he will be able for others if he has advanced in age.
He will then commence training for fasting from the age of seven, he gradually continue the more he advanced in age but you should consider his power, physical ability and his psychological preparedness for it.
Imam Jaafar bn Mohammad Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "We ordered our children to fast when they were seven years of age base on their ability in every day fasting, if it is up to half of the day or more or less, they break their fasting when they were over-come with thirsty and hunger till they were familiar, then command your children to fast when they were nine years of age base on their ability for the fasting, they break their fasting when they were over-come with thirsty" 245.
On the authority of Sumaa'ah he said: I asked him when the children fast? Imam Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "When they were able to fast" 246.
If he was trained how to fast before the age of obligation (Takleef) he will execute it in a best form without any difficulty.
On the authority of Muawiya bn Wahaab, he said: I asked Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him) how do we oblige children for fasting? He said: "between him and fourteen or fifteen years, you leave him if he fast before then, verily my son fast before then and I leave him" 247.
It is recommended to train child on pilgrimage, from the authority of one of the two Imams Al-Baqir or Assadiq (peace be upon them), he said: "If a man perform Pilgrimage with his son while he is young he should order him to answer the call "Labayka" and make Pilgrimage compulsory, if he can not answer the call, he answered on his behalf and circumambulate for him and pray on his behalf .... he slaughtered on behalf of the younger ones and fasting for the elders and prevent him from all that the Pilgrims were prevented from like cloth and scent, if he kills anything the penalty is on the father" 248.
Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) in answering question regards when one is in fear of cold for the child during (Ihraam) state of ritual consecrations, he said: "Bring them on mounting and perform his ritual consecration if you still have fear on them, bring them to Juhfah" 249.
He (peace be upon him) said: "Observe the children with you and forward them to Juhfah or put them at the front of those passing by and perform with them what those on state of ritual consecrations perform, circumambulates with him and throw stone on their behalf, the guardian should fast for those that doesn't possess sacrifice". Imam Ali bn Al-Hussein would give knife to a youth supported with a man when slaughtering" 250.
It is recommended to train youth on good deeds like giving of Alms (Sadaqah) to the poor and needy. Imam Ali bn Musa Al-Reza (peace be upon him) said : "Ordered youth to give Alms with his hand whether small or full of hand and anything even if it is little, because everything you intend for the sake of Allah, the intention is great after giving it out even though it is little" 251.
He (peace be upon him) said: "Ordered them to give Alms even though it is pieces of bread" 252.
Training the youth regards Alms giving is the best way of training youth from reliance to the world and minimizing love for wealth from the child's mind. It is a training that will make him sympathize with the poor and the needy.
Training child at his youth stage on obedience and worshiping makes him to persist on it during his old age.
The history of the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) is the best evidence to that, Imam Al-hassan bn Ali (peace be upon him) (performs Pilgrimage from Medina by trekking for complete twenty times) 253.
Imam Al-Hussein bn Ali (peace be upon him) demanded from an Umayyad soldier to grant him the tenth night of the holy month of Muharam for his devotion and worships with his companions (when the night comes they pray, seek for forgiveness, pray humbly to Allah and supplicates) 254.
For the excess worship of Imam Ali bn Al-Hussein (peace be upon him) he was named as the pretty of the worshippers 255.
(He didn't leave midnight prayers when at home and when on journey) 256.
When a questionnaire came to him he would say: "Welcome to those who help him carries provisions to the day of Resurrection" 257.
The rest members of the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) are the top in connection with Allah and sincere in their worship, they were been trained during their youth age and they have special familiarity with it and they have interest for its execution.
It is incumbent on the parents to encourage their child for the training of worships and obedience with a successful method, commendation, laudation or by presenting material and spiritual gift to him.
241 - Mustadrakil Wasaa'il vol- 2: 624.
242 - Bihaaril Anwaar vol- 101:98.
243 - Tanbeehil khawaatir: 390 by Warram bn Abi Faraas printed by Daru tta'aaruf.
244 - Mustadrakil Wasaa'il vol- 2: 624.
245 - Al-kafi vol- 4: 124/1 ch- child's fasting.
246 - Al-kafi vol- 4: 125/3 ch- Child's fasting.
247 - Al-kafi vol 4: 125/2 ch- Children's fasting.
248 - " " 4: 303/1 " children and Slave Pilgrimage.
249 - Al-kafi vol 4: 304/3 children and Slave Pilgrimage.
250 - " " 4: 304/4 chaper: Children and slave's Pilgrimage
251 - Al-wasaa'il vol- 9: 376/1 chapter four.
252 - " "- 9: 376/2 " ".
253 - Mukhtasar Taareekh Demeshq vol- 7:23.
254 - Al-kaamil fi Taareekh vol- 4: 59 by Ibn Atheer printed by Daru Ssadr 1399 A.H.
255 - Mukhtasar Taareekh Demeshq vol- 17: 234.
256 - Safwati Ssafwa vol- 2 : 95 by Ibn Jawzi - printed by Darul Ma'aarif 1405 A.H. 3rd edition.
257 - Safwati Ssafwa vol-2: 95 by Ibn Jawzi - printed by Darul Ma'aarif 1405 A.H. 3rd edition.
Adapted from the book: "The Child's Education in Islam" by: "Ismail Abdullah"
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