Rafed English

The Unfaithful Woman

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

Once a woman, through firm proof, is convicted of adultery, her husband would be placed in a very difficult situation. On the one hand, his honor is endangered and on the other, enduring such a disgrace is not easy. He feels trapped in a state of deadlock from which an easy escape is not possible. A man in this situation can choose one of the following:

(a) He can keep silent about the affair in order to save his honor and for the sake of his family. But he must live with this event for the rest of his life. Of course this choice cannot be acceptable by any honorable man, since it would not be possible for him to cope with his adulterous wife and a possible illegitimate child.

Passion is an admirable quality of men, so much so that a man without it would not enjoy the grace of the Almighty Allah as well as being dishonored by the people who know him.

What a disgraceful and shameful life those men have who are indifferent with regard to their wives' disloyalties. "The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The fragrance of Paradise can be smelt at a distance of five hundred years journey, but two groups of people are deprived from it; those which are disowned by their parents and the cuckold ones'. It was asked: 'O Prophet (SA) of Allah: 'Who is a cuckold'? The Prophet (SA) replied: 'A man who knows his wife is an adulterer (and remains silent about it)'." 210 (b) He could kill either or both his wife and the man she committed adultery with. He can take his revenge and find peace. But this is a dangerous act and would not have a good end, because a murder would rarely be concealed for ever. A murderer would finally be found and be punished. He cannot easily prove his wife's disloyalty in the court either; and thus the possibility of his release from imprisonment would be very remote. He might even receive capital punishment. Thus he would lose his life and his children would go astray. Therefore, it is not wise for a man to endanger his life just for the sake of seeking revenge.

He should be wise and prudent and be able to control his temper until he can find a suitable solution to his problem.

(c) He can commit suicide in order to get rid of himself from his wife's disloyalty and leave a disgraceful life. This is not a wise act either, because on the one hand he has murdered himself, which itself is a major sin in Islam and the murderer would be punished by Allah on the Day of Judgment. On the other hand, he would have deprived himself from life. What kind of logic is it that would suggest self-killing as a revenge for someone else's guilt. He would suffer in the next life as well as give more freedom to his wife to commit more adulterous acts.

(d) He could divorce her. This is the wisest thing to do. I t is right that a divorce would destroy his family life and would inflict much harm upon him and his children, but there is not any other way. It is better for him to divorce her and take the children, because it is not right to leave them with a corrupt woman to bring up.

Of course bringing up children is not an easy job for a man, but he must be sure that Allah would help him. He could help him lead an honorable life.

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