Parenting

... And  "What factor causes special behavior in a child?"

The differences among the behavior of children are due to the differences existing among children regarding two factors:  1-Ability 2.

For performing an action a child should firstly have the talent and ability to do it. Moreover, he should like the action as well.

A particular readiness is needed for using the facilities in the way of reaching the desired goal. By readiness we mean the potential and ability of the person to learn particular skills and actions.

Readiness can be divided into three types which are all related to each other:

1. Physical readiness: To learn and to change their deeds children need to be physically able to do a particular action.

2. Social-emotional readiness: Assurance and self-confidence, the feeling of independence and self-esteem, help the children especially the young girls and boys to change their deeds. The family environment can play an effective and important role in this case.

3. Mental readiness: Includes the skills of saying the words easily, developing vocabulary and basically concepts for successful action.

In this regard, factors which are motives which are the motives for changing someone’s behavior cause a provocation and make the children take action. These factors are of two types:  Internal and External.

We call internal factors motives and external ones stimuli. Reward and punishment, praise and blame, competition and cooperation are of those external factors, stimuli.

Any factor which satisfied a need or strengthens a reaction is called a reward. Obviously, reward is given for agreeable actions and punishment for unagreeable ones.

It is clear that parents should never force their children to take a particular action. They can use praising or blaming among children and according to the reaction of the child, use those factors to change the child’s behavior. For example, a mother whose son or daughter pays more attention to cleanliness, neatness and well-dressing, can praise himself in the group of children.

The changes which are caused by learning consist of three aspects:

1- Knowledge aspect: Change in this aspect, takes place through learning and developing knowledge. It means that knowledge changes the thought and helps the children prepare themselves to adapt to the environment.
By improving the level of their children’s knowledge and awareness, parents can help their children put their knowledge into order. Undoubtedly, scattered information and things memorized are of little value and no necessary use.

2- Insight aspect: Change in this aspect is very important because children are affected by their emotions many times during life. After the stage of knowledge and awareness, change should star from this stage because if the children don’t have a positive attitude toward a new idea or action, the change wanted by the parents does not take place.

3- Practical aspect: In this aspect change happens through the formation of habits and skills. Finally, parents want to make changes in this aspect of the children. In other words, they expect their children apply their pieces of advice and suggestions. In this stage, financial and economic condition of the family plays an important role. For example, there has formed a change in knowledge and tendency of a child to accept and apply the advice and good deeds. But, when taking action, there exists no possibility for him/her to apply good deeds despite his/her enough motivation.