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Assistance in Bringing up Children

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

A child is the fruit of a marriage. Both man and woman have played a part in his creation and must share in all the difficulties and happiness involved. Bringing up a child is a duty for both parents and not only the mother. Although mothers most often take care of their children and attend to their feeding, cleanliness, etc, the fathers should not take their efforts granted. It is not proper for a man to assume that looking after children is a duty for women only and that men have no responsibilities in this matter. It is not fair that a father should leave his wife with their crying baby and go to rest in a separate room.

Dear brother! your child is your responsibility too. Do you think it is fair to leave your wife with a crying baby while you rest in a separate room? Is this the proper way of doing things in your house? Just as you work hard outside the house, your wife works hard inside it, and she needs her sleep just as much as you do yours. She, too, does not enjoy from a screaming baby but she perseveres. My brother! humanity as well as Islam demands you to help your wife in bringing up your child. You should either help each other simultaneously or take it in turns.

If your wife experiences a sleepless night and falls asleep after the morning prayer. then you should not expect her to prepare your breakfast like on other days. In fact you should prepare your own and even leave hers ready and waiting for her when she wakes up. Your wife is not duty-bound to look after your child all the time that you are out of the house or on a trip. In brief, you should assist your wife and share in looking after the child. In this way your family life would be strengthened. Finally women should also remember that their husbands work hard to earn their living and should not expect them to offer assistance beyond their capacity. Women should not expect their tired, work-weary husbands to begin looking after the children as soon as they return home from work.

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