Married Life

It is wrong that the husband treats his wife according to the principle of reciprocity, so that he does not treat her well until she does first. Whereas the principle {We desire no recompense from you, no thankfulness}, applies here. There is a difference between acting with complaisance for the sake of Allah-fulfilling high values-and doing it to acquire possessions of this world.

It is necessary -to achieve a happy life with the wife-that we have the divine and the transparent regard to women. For she too was created to attain her perfection. Therefore, we must regard her as a creature marching towards of Allah. Hence, we must not discourage her in her endeavour to attain perfection.

If the husband is not the kind of person who cares for the hereafter, then he must work for the benefit of his life in this world. And that is by not transferring the woman into a nervous being who expresses her feelings inside the marital establishment on one side, affecting the children’s upbringing on the other. It is known that the wife is a life partner, which makes her a good investment for he who wants to improve her capabilities so that, both the couple, their children and the society benefit.

The man’s refraining from taking the responsibility inside the house is one of the causes of the dismantling of a marriage. He starts the relationship by showing a great deal of love and affection, only to change afterwards to someone who does not regard the house a friendly atmosphere and does not take any responsibility even regarding the obligatory adequate support. Especially so if the wife is financially independent, then he will try to take away her possessions which will leave him with a mere nominal role inside the house.”

It is wrong to sanctify-during an argument-the notion of partiality of each of the couple for his or her relatives, forgetting the principle of precedence by piety. For there is nothing as the (husband’s relatives) in opposition to the (wife’s relatives) in the exact Islamic concept, because all believers are like one body, and disputes in the family should not be transferred to the bigger family, the society.

The Prophet (P.U.H.H) said: “ Fear Allah in regard the two weak subjects” meanin (the woman and the orphan). It is known that suppressing someone who has no helper but Allah; is one of the causes of speeding-up of the divine Vengeance. That is why we think that he oppressor of his wife cannot advance in the way of perfection, for how could we seek nearness to Allah when He is displeased with us.

The resorting of the husband to unlawful practices, starting with looking at forbidden pictures in addition to committing forbidden deeds, will destroy the marital establishment in many ways. Because he who derives pleasure from a variety of forbidden practices, will not be satisfied by what is allowed for him, especially when he compares the available and variable forbidden to the stable allowed. On the other hand, he will drop in his wife’s estimation-who resents marital infidelity by her nature. How shall he expect respect from her after that? Moreover, Allah-who casts love in obedient people’s hearts-takes away that love from disobedient people’s hearts. This is the secret of people’s dislike to the sinful even without knowledge of their sinning.

Some regard sexual intercourse as a pure bestial action. Consequently, they might not fulfill their obligation if they-wrongly-think that it hinders them from attaining certain spiritual ranks. Whereas the matter includes an emotional as well as an instinctive undertaking, which is one of the requirements of the fortification of the marital life, in addition to making the partner happy and satisfied, provided that excess and neglect are avoided.

Showing romantic feelings and gestures in dealing with the wife is required by the Sharia. Because it is related that the Prophet (P.U.H.H) had said: “The man’s saying to his wife, I love you, never goes away from her heart”. This attitude should not be restricted to the early years of the marriage; rather it is necessary to constantly refresh the marital life with it.

The man must not seek comfort outside the house on the wife’s expense, because Allah commanded us to guard ourselves first and our families second against the Fire {Guard yourselves and your families against a Fire}. Hence, the man’s leaving of his woman to live in loneliness and isolation, especially during he night, is a kind of unintended tormenting.

Resorting to beating and the use of improper words in marital life, form the peak of the spiritual decline, which takes the glamour away from the marital life and causes a crack which doe snot close even after harmony returns.