The Limit of a Father’s Permission in Marriage
- :Aisha Mutuku
Adequate understanding of future partner is considered to be the most important consideration in a marriage. Implications of absence of very basic understanding of either partner’s moral conduct would become an obstacle in finding mutual ground for growth of love and affection necessary for a healthy and warm union.
Sometimes parents without consent or even knowledge of their daughter, chooses a partner for her. Hence, put her in position that she has to adjust with whom she hasn’t even the basic understanding. Or at times parents put their son under pressure to choose a wife they desire; unaware that consequence of such a marriage would be unpleasing.
The Islamic approach concerning marriage comprises careful and delicate guidelines that lead to a harmonious and correct family life. Therefore the full understanding of the ultimate outcome of an action incites stronger motivation for seeking scientific approaches to it and finds the best ways of exploiting it. So in considering marriage, due attention should be paid to fundamental principles. Thus encouraging young people to apply due principles to their marriages and make best use of their abilities to strengthen the family bond.
Islam as the religion of temperament has paid due attention to this matter and has particularly emphasized the importance of either couples’ consent in promoting the principles of marriage and establishing the marital responsibilities. Thus keeping in mind excitements and unstable feelings that present obstacles in choosing the proper partner in marriage, the consent of a girl is not enough.
An experienced father, familiar with hazards of life is less likely to make mistake than his young daughter. So in marriage of a girl, the consent of two people is needed. The main party of the contract which is she and her father who is the wager of correctness of the contract, therefore, if parents impose a person to a girl, the contract would not be applicable without her consent.
Imam Ali (A.S) said:
“Never trust anyone unless you have tested them yourself”.
Evidently, to know someone, we must be aware of his/her past and also inquire about their close friends, since they are the mirror of one’s moralities. We should not heed to complements and claims of truthfulness, loyalty and good morals, but to take more care in our inquiries.
One way of knowing people is socializing with them. So upon decision of marriage is made, inter-actions in order to get to know if the person has an idea of their own about life and how this outlook has come about and their aim in life is permitted within the limitations of the shari’a (Islamic laws and regulations). But, we should keep in mind the possibility of unforeseen situations and reservations in the course of life and its ups and downs. There-fore, the couple should be ready and willing to face the implications of life wisely and sensibly, other-wise, they wouldn’t have a warm, tranquil and happy life.
Adapted from: "Family Life" by: "Aisha Mutuku"
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