Married Life

Adopted from the book : "Matrimonial Rights" by : "Sayyid Mahdi as-Sadr"

The ideal husband is the qualified man who achieves happiness to his wife and ensures tranquil marital life. Unlike the false idea of most of people, the qualifications of a spouse have nothing to do with material vanities, such as handsome house, comely means of transportation, or big fortune. The true qualifications are high certificate, respectful office, high morality, and the like matters. Material vanities may be found with many spouses; still, they are unable to achieve marital happiness or achie ve their wives’ pleasure and expectations.

Listen to the following words uttered by the wife of Muawiya —the Umayyad caliph— who could no longer stand the life of luxury, lavish expenditure, and wealth in the laps of her husband, and longed for her love’s young dream, though he cannot secure luxu ry, lavish expenditure, and wealth:

A house in which souls are roaming is favorable, in my sight, to a handsome palace. To have a single cloak with delight is favorable, in my sight, to wearing diaphanous clothes. A clumsy, but highborn, cousin of mine is favorable, in my sight, to a stern unbeliever.

Hence, the true qualification is the mixture of three things: true embracement of the religion, well mannerism, and capacity to maintain and guard the wife materially and morally. Having these three qualities, a man becomes, in the sight of Islam, an ide al competent husband.

The Prophet (s) said: “If a man whose morals and religiosity are accepted in your sight proposes to your daughter, you must agree; otherwise, there will come into being widespread idolatry and great evil.” 10

Imam as-Sadiq (a) said: “The well-qualified husband is the chaste who can save good living.” 11

Thus, it is discommended, as an Islamic ruling, to give one’s daughter in marriage to the sinful, alcoholic, effeminate, ill-tempered, and the like individuals whose religiosity and morality are not guaranteed.

Notes :

10. Quoted from al-Wafi; part 12 page 17 (as quoted from al-Kafi).

11. Quoted from al-Wafi; 12/18 (as quoted from al-Kafi, al-Faqih, and at-Tahtheeb).