Rafed English

The Happy Household

Married life can vary greatly from couple to couple. One couple can make their home heavenly and happy through morals and virtues, good habits and sympathetic behaviour.

Another couple however, can be found to be the opposite of this, one or both of them being uncouth, violent and bad mannered or with bad habits whether it be smoking in the vicinity of the other person which can cause friction, or to be indiscreet and not to say anything, or by eating pungent foods like garlic, onions, and leeks.

It is perhaps a familiar sight to see husbands fleeing from their homes to avoid their ill-mannered wives and vice versa when the wife occupies herself in a certain activity in order to avoid her husband.

The humanistic and Islamic view of society is that each of the married couple should respect and be aware of their partner's needs in their life and realise that they are also a human being with emotions, feelings and sensitivities and that any ill-mannered behaviour can cause pain and in many cases ends up in divorce and separation.

It is important that each partner wherever possible should overlook the slip-ups and mistakes of the other just as the prophet has ordered.

I myself once saw an ill-charactered man drive his wife to death and his second wife followed her.

The person of bad character is generally driven by his behaviour towards bad consequences, while good character and morals usually lead to good consequences. This is the principle involved which the prophet made clear.

There is no doubt that human natures vary in goodness and badness. However, the effect upon the person of education and self-development cannot be denied. A person should educate himself in good personal relationships with others, as is mentioned in the Qur'an in the verse: '... good fellowship' 73.

Maintaining an atmosphere in the household where no one party forces the other to work in the house or for the house can make the household peaceful and happy. Compulsion though can make the house into a hell on earth which can destroy all the occupants including any children there may be.

73 The Holy Qur'an: The Cow (2): 229.

Adapted from the book; "The Family" by: "Imam Muhammad Shirazi"

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