Rafed English

Children’s Jealousy (2)

The Solutions Parents have many different responsibilities towards their children.

One of these responsibilities, which is also a sensitive one, is how to handle jealous children. When looking for the solution of jealousy in children in the words of Ahl Al-Bayt (a.s), one can understand that removing jealousy right from its roots is not possible. For this reason they (a.s) gave a manner of how to treat the child so that the spark of jealousy does not turn into a fire that burns and destroys. This solution is to give and show the child the same and equal love and care that you give to the thing that makes them jealous.
The Prophet (pbuh) saw a man with two kids. The man kissed one of the kids and did not kiss the other, so the prophet told him “Why didn't you comfort both of them?”(1)
Imam Al-Sadiq (a.s) narrated from his father Imam Al-Baqir (a.s) that he stated: “By Allah, I bribe some of my sons, let them sit on my lap, show them extra love, and thank them greatly, while Acknowledging this sole right is for my other son. This is for protecting him from them and others so they do not do what the (Prophet) Youssef’s brother did to Youssef...”(2)
The “thing” that makes them jealous could be a relative who needs care or business that is taking parent’s time. But it is usually a new baby sibling. In any situation that it might be, the reason why this child is jealous is that he or she has noticed the care and warmth that the parents had, has gone down, therefor they start acting out, trying to get attention and care or envy the thing they think has stolen the parents’ love. When reflecting on this it will become clear that shouting on the child or expressing annoyance to the child will only aggravate the situation. It is true that it is hard to have consistency while the other “thing” has to be given extra care such as a newborn, but who said responsibilities are always easy?

Wassail Al-Shia v21 p487
 Mustdrak Al-Wassail v15 p172


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