The Duality of the Feelings of Man and Woman with Regard to Each Other
- :Shahid Murtaza Mutahhari
Not only are the family relations of man and woman with each other different from their relation to other things, but also their attitude to each other is not similar. In other words, the nature of the relation of man to woman is different from that of woman to man, though they both attract each other, but, unlike the non-living bodies, in this case, the smaller body pulls the larger body to itself. Man has been created as a manifestation of longing, love and pursuit, and woman as a manifestation of attraction and desirability. The feelings of the two are of different but complementary kind. One seeks and the other wishes to be sought after.
Sometime ago, a newspaper published the photograph of a young Russian girl who had committed suicide. This girl left a note in which she said that no man had ever kissed her and so her life had become unbearable.
For a girl it is a matter of great disappointment that no man loves her and nobody has kissed her. But a young boy is not frustrated if no girl has kissed him. He is frustrated only when he is not able to kiss a girl.
Will Durant in the course of his exhaustive discussion, says that a girl whose only merit is knowledge and high thinking. but who lacks natural charm and semi-conscious cleverness, is not likely to succeed in finding a husband. Sixty per cent of the university educated women remain without a husband.
He says that an eminent woman intellectual complained that nobody was willing to marry her. She used to say: 'Why doesn't anybody love me? I can be better than most of the women. Still, many insignificant women are wanted, but I'm not."
It may be observed that the sense of frustration of this woman is different from that of any man. She complains as to why nobody loves her.
Man is frustrated only when he cannot find a woman of his choice, or, if he finds her, he cannot win her.
The temperaments of man and woman have been so ordained, that with the definite purpose of making the union between husband and wife firm and deep it may enable both of them to enjoy their life better. In fact, the foundation of the human society and the upbringing of the future generations has been laid on this very union.
A lady psychologist writes: "As a psychologist my biggest interest has been the study of the spirit of men. Some time ago I was given an assignment to investigate the psychological factors of man and woman. I arrived at the following conclusions:
(i) All women are interested in working under the supervision of someone else. They like to work as a subordinate rather than a boss.
(ii) All women want to feel that their existence is effective and is required".
This psychologist expresses her views thus: "I believe that these two spiritual requirements of women proceed from the fact that women are led by emotions and men by reason. It is often observed that women are not only equal to men in intelligence, but sometimes even superior to them. Their only weak point is that they are too emotional. Men's thinking is always more practical. They judge better; they are better organisers and better directors. The superiority of the spirit of men to that of women is a thing which has been designed by nature itself. Whatever women may do to counter this fact will be of no avail. Women should accept the reality that, as they are too sensitive, they need men's supervision in their lives. The biggest aim of women's life is to 'ensure' her future. Once she achieves it, she says goodbye to many of her activities. She is afraid of taking risks. Fear is the sentiment, to overcome which woman needs man's help. All jobs which require constant thinking are boring to her".
Adapted from the book: "Woman and Her Rights" by: "Shahid Murtaza Mutahhari"
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