One's Independence in Marriage
- :Husayn Ansarian
Mothers and fathers must pay attention to the fact that the right to choose a spouse - with important conditions that dear Islam has stated - belongs to the offspring themselves. Parents do not have the right to force their son to marry a girl whom he does not approve of. Also parents do not have the right to force their daughters to marry the ones she does not want to. The offspring have the God-given right of freedom to choose their spouse. A very important tradition has commented upon the right to choose in marriage: Ibn Aby Ya'fur said that he had the following request direction from Imam Sadiq (Pbuh):
I had chosen a certain woman to marry but my mother and father have chosen another. What should I do?" The Imam said: "Marry the one whom you like to and forget about the other one whom your father and mother have approved of." [Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p.235]
In the practical treatises of great Shiite authorities regarding marriage we read:
If a suitable spouse is found for a young girl and is religiously according to custom a good match for her, and her father and grandfather are too strict and do not approve, then their permission is not required. [Risaleh-i-Tuwzih Al-Ma'sael, Ayatullah Fazel Lankarany , p.418, Matter 2236]
Therefore, if a young man has found his best match and a young girl has also found her best match, the approval or lack of approval of the father and mother does not work as a condition. The young couple may marry with the permission of Islam and the approval of God.
Mothers and fathers should not force their own wishes and selfish desires of their clan upon young men and women who want to marry. It is forbidden in Islam to force others to do things. To undergo force is also prohibited by Islam.
Men and women are free to choose legitimate work and the wages they earn belong to them: Their ownership of the income is legitimate. The wife does not have any rights to man's property except with his permission and vice versa. We must note that men and women's independence must be respected in all aspects of life.
Adopted from the book: "The Islamic Family Structure" by: "Husayn Ansarian"
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