Doing Good to The Child and Honoring Him
- :Ismail Abdullah
The child of this stage is in need of love and appreciation from the side of the parents and in need of his recognition and his status in the family and in the society and to focus brightness on him. He will be developing at any time he perceive he is love and that the parents or the community feels of his personality and status. (To be adjustable in a good conformity, his entity will be sound and guided base as if when the child is loved and accepted, feeling of tranquility in the house).
The love and appreciations that the child perceive have a great effect in all aspect of his life, then he will be developed perfectly, linguistically, mentally, psychologically and socially. The child imitate when he likes and accept teachings, orders and advices from them. He will then learn basis of good conduct from the parents and will reflect in his habit if he feels love and appreciations from both of them (parents).
It has been stated in many narrations emphasizing the necessity of loving and honoring the child.
The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Honor your children and give them good education" 132.
The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "May Allah bless a servant who help his child for his obedience by doing goods to him, harmonize with him and educates him" 133.
He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Parent's look at his child with love for him is a worship" 134.
He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Love children and have mercy on them and fulfill your promise to them whenever you promised them because they thought you provide their provisions" 135.
Encouraging and commending children for their invention even though it is little and over looking their lapses, don't depreciate his sayings or his deeds and don't impel him more than his ability, all this are the substantial of love for them and making him to feel his status as it comes from the sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants): "May Allah have mercy on him who assist his child for his obedience ..... He accepts his feasible and over-look his short-comings and did not oppress him nor encroach with him" 136.
To kiss children is among the best means that makes them feels of love and kindness. The prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Increase the kissing of your children, because every kiss has a degree in the Paradise" 137.
He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Whoever kiss his child has done a good deed, whoever make his child happy, Allah will make him happy in the day of Resurrection ..... " 138.
Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "Be obedient to your parents so that your children will be in obedient to you" 139.
Making the child to hear words of love and cordiality is among the substantial of him feeling being loved.
Thus in Narration Alhassan and Al-Hussein came proceeding to the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) he took one of them and merge him to his armpit and the other to the other armpit and said: "These are my aroma in this world" 140.
In order to make the child feels his societal status and enable him deepen trust in himself, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) has done greeting to the children and the adult as it has come in the traditions that He has greet the children when he has passed over them 141
The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) has treated Alhassan and Al-Hussein with special treatment, verily he pays homage to Al-hassan and Al-Hussein while they are young 142.
Making child to feel love and sympathy is among the important factors that assist him in obedience and compliance to the parents.
It is better to make the child to perceive that the love is accompanying him in all places and in all conditions even when he made a mistake or committed what necessitate reproaching or punishing him. It is also better than making child to differentiate between the love for him and that he was not hated in a situation when he made a mistake or committed a sin.
DR. Sapok says: (It is incumbent for us as father not to allow the child in any stage of his life to feel of being disregarded even by mere seeing, indeed the child is not able to differentiates between the hatred from his parent due to his conduct and their hatred for him) 143
How ever by educating and repetition of action it will enable us to convince the child that the bad action he is committing is hateful from the side of his parents or from the side of the community but continuation of love with him. We also tried to convince him to refrain from bad actions and to make realize that in this situation the love and the sympathy will reach a higher stage.
132 - Mustadrakil Wasaa'il vol -2: 625.
133 - Mustadrakil Wasaa'il vol -2: 626.
134 - Mustadrakil Wasaa'il vol -2: 626.
135 - Makarimul Akh'laq: 219.
136 - Al-kafi vol-6: 50 /6th ch- Good to the children.
137 - Makarimul Akh'laq: 220.
138 - Uddati Ddaayi: 79.
139 - Tuhfal Uquul: 267.
140 - Mukhtasar Taareekh Demeshq vol-7:14 by bn Manzoor printed by Darul Fikr 1st edition 1405 A.H.
141 - Mustadrakil Wasaa'il vol-2:69.
142 - Tuhfal Uquul: 337.
143 - Mashaakilil Aabaa'a: 141.
Adapted from the book: "The Child's Education in Islam" by: "Ismail Abdullah"
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