Married Life

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

The problems of life are many. There is not anyone who is completely happy with his situation. But some people are more patient with their hardships than others, they try to record them in their memories and do not mention them except when there is reason or revealing them. On the other hand, there are people who are so weak that they cannot keep any problem to themselves. They are so used to making complaints that upon meeting others, they start complaining. Wherever they, go and whenever they are in a gathering, they moan about the everyday events which have effected their lives it is as if they haven sent on a mission by Satan himself, to spoil the happiness of others. That is why most friends and relatives do not want to be bothered with these and try to keep away from them as much as possible.

But one must feel sorry for their wives and children who have to cope with them. Because no one else, is prepared to listen to their moaning, these men vent their problems before their families.

They sometimes complain about their expenses, the taxis, their friends, and sometimes they moan about their colleagues, their businesses, diseases, doctors, and so on. These men are very pessimistic and ,do not see any good in this world. They suffer themselves as well as make [*] Daghtat al-Qabr: 'Compression in the grave' which is a kind of torment for the deceased person against his sins.

and especially their families, suffer too.

Dear Sir! what is the point of making complaints all the time? What do you achieve by moaning? Why should your family suffer if you are angry with the taxi driver? Why do you blame your wife if your business is not brisk? Do not forget that your attitude would repel your family from you. They will become disappointed in you and disheartened with the house. They might even run away from home and might fall into the trap of corruption and crime. The least is that it leaves a mental scar on them.

Is it not better not to spoil your family's happiness?

When returning home, try to forget your problems. Be happy with your family. Eat with them. Have a laugh and enjoy their company. Islam has also regarded patience and refusing to make complaints as good behaviour and has even allocated a reward for it. "Imam Ali (AS) stated: 'When hardship falls upon a Muslim, he should not make complaints about Allah to other people, but that he should take the problems to Allah who possesses the key to all problems'." 168

"Imam Ali (AS) also stated: 'It is written in the Tawrah: whoever makes a complaint about a hardship which has befallen him, is in fact complaining about Allah'." 169

"The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: 'Whoever experiences hardship with his health and does not make complaints (about it) to people, then it is incumbent on Allah to forgive all his sins' ." 170