A Tidy House
A tidy house is preferred to an untidy one in many ways.Firstly, the tidiness helps the house look clean, attractive and beautiful. An arranged house, does not bore one, but would be a source of joy and happiness.
Secondly, the job of house-keeping would be easier in a well-ordered house, and the housewife, by knowing the exact location of the household contents, would not waste time to look for them. As a result the woman woulnot become tired with her job.
Thirdly, it attracts the man to his house and his wife. A well-ordered house is representative of the woman’s quality.
Fourthly, a tidy house is a source of pride for the whole family. Whoever visits it, appreciates it, and admire the woman’s talent and good taste.
Having many luxurious items would not beautify a house, but the manner in which the household contents are arranged, would make it attractive. You must have seen wealthy people whose house, despite containing many luxurious items, is boring, and there are poor people whose houses, because of being orderly, are enjoyable to look at.
Therefore, arranging a house is one of the duties of housewives. Talented ladies with good taste know how.to put their houses in order, but mentioning a few points here may prove useful.
Classifying your dishes: Do not pile them all on top of each other. Leave all the cutlery in one place and place the dishes somewhere else. Put all the dishes for guests separate from the dishes you use everyday. Do the same for every thing else. Every thing must be put in its proper place so that all the family members are able to find 'them , even in the dark.
Some ladies may believe that such a programme suits the rich and the wealthy.But this is not correct, even poor people should arrange their belongings, including their dishes, beds, and clothes. For instance, the wife should keep her own clothes separate from her husband’s and her children’s. The winter clothes must be separate from summer ones. Dirty clothes must have their own place. The ornaments must be put in their proper locations. Teach your children to be tidy with their clothes, books, toys, etc.You can be certain that by being tidy, your children would learn and would follow you.
Untidy women blame their children for the house being in a state of mess, whereas it is the children who learn from their parents. If the parents are tidy, then the children would learn and children, by nature, are willing to be disciplined.
Keep all your money, important papers, documents, jewelry and certificates in a safe or a place out of the reach of children. It is not correct to punish a child for touching, destroying or losing any of the precious items that you have left within their reach The parents are the guilty ones and they should know better.
"A man left some money with his wife and asked her to leave it in a safe place ..., and then put it on the mantle piece and left the house. After a short while the man returned home and did not find the money he had left. He looked around the house anxiously, and saw his five-year old boy burning something in the garden. The mother of the boy angrily went up to him, lifted him up, and then threw him on the ground so hard that it killed the boy outright. She was quite scared while looking at her son’s corpse when the man came out into the garden. He started hitting her, and then decided to go to the police. He got on his motorcycle, but on the way to the police station, he had an accident. He is now in the Intensive Care Unit’."
Who do you think, is guilty party in this incident? You can judge for yourself. Perhaps your know of a similar occurrence.
Medicines, paraffin, petrol, and poisonous substances should always bekeptout of the reach of children. Children drink and eat anything which looks like water and food. Do not endanger their lives by being careless. There are many children who die as the result of their parents’ carelessness.
"Two children, a brother and a sister, aged 6 and 4 years drank a solution of DDT. The four-year old girl died, and her brother survived. The children were on their own in their house. They drank the solution in order to quench their thirst. 'Their mother said in the hospital that the solution was made to kill the mice in her house."
"Two children drank kerosene, mistakenly thinking that it was water."
"Another child swallowed ten of her mother’s tablets."
"All these children were taken to hospital for treatment."
Finally,you are reminded thatkliscipline is only useful up to a certain extent in that it should not deprive you from comfort. You should not be obsessed with tidiness, because obsession itself can cause problems:
"A man said: 'I am fed up with my wife’s obsession with cleanliness and tidiness. Everyday when I return home at 4-30 pm. my wife makes me wash my hands and feet a few times. She wants me to put my clothes in their proper place. She doesn’t even let me smoke in all the rooms. I have always lived freely, but during the four years of my marriage, I have been living in a prison. Why should one care for cleanliness and tidiness so much. This is an obsession and I hate obsession’."
A moderate behaviour is the best in all aspects of one’s life. One should not be so chaotic that it becomes impossible to live a normal life, and also one should not overindulge in cleanliness to the extent that it becomes an obsession.
Preparing Food
Another very important responsibility of a housewife is preparing food for her family.Agood housewife is also a good cook who can prepare delicious food with little money, while a bad housewife cooks bad food with expensive ingredients Delicious food is a means of attracting her husband towards her. A man whose wife cooks well, does not particularly enjoy eating out."The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The best of your women is one who perfumes herself, prepares food skillfuily and would not overindulge in spending. Such a womari’is one of the workforce of Allah and a person who works for Allah would never have to face either regret or defeat’."
It is not possible for me to write down recipes, but there are many good books on the subject which can be obtained and used to cook delicious foods.
But just a few points to remember:
The purpose of eating is not to fill one’s stomach but that it also supplies the body with all the nourishment it needs to continue its function. The necessary nourishment for the body is contained in meat, fruits,vegetables and cereals and can be classified into six groups:
(a) Water,
(b) Minerals, such as calcium, phosphorus, iron, copper, etc,
(c) Starchy substances (carbohydrates),
(d) Fats,
(e) Proteins, and
(f) Vitamins like, A, B, C, D, K.
The majority of one’s weight is water. Water dissolves the solid food in order to prepare it for absorption by the intestines. Water also regulates the body’s temperature.
The minerals are necessary for the growth of bones teeth, and the regulation of muscle functions.
Carbohydrates create energy and heat.
Protein helps in the replacing of old or dead cells causing the growth of the body.
Vitamins are also important for the growth, strengthening the bones, regulating the chemical reactions in the body, and are vital in maintaining a healthy nervous system.
Each of the above substances is vital for the body. Malnutrition causes many illnesses and can be fatal. The quality of the food is important and has a proportional relationship with one’s life span, happiness or sadness, beauty or ugliness and healthy nerves or mental disorders.
We are what we eat. If one monitors his food and cares for his eating habits, he would become ill less frequently. It is not wise to eat just delicious food without pondering over its quality. Once one’s health is impaired as a result of bad food, one would have to seek medical treatment by a doctor, but unfortunately the human body would never be restored to its original health.
"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The stomach is the centre of all illnesses’."
Since the choice of food is with the women, therefore, they are very much responsible for the family health. The smallest carelessness on her part, would expose the health of all the family members to many illnesses.
Therefore a housewife, besides being a good cook, should be able to identify the quality of the food.
Firstly: She should make a food which has all the nourishment necessary for a human body to function properly.
"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The duty of a woman towards her husband is to turn the lights on in the house and to prepare good and suitable food’."
"A woman asked the Proph(SA) of Allah: 'What good (reward) is awaiting a woman who performs her duties in her husband’s house?’ The Prophet (SA) stated: 'For every activity that she does concerning the household matters, Allah looks on her kindly, and whoever enjoys the grace of Allah would not be tormented’."
Secondly: The dietary needs of people are not the same. Age, size of the body and other possible factors determine the level of our nutritional requirements. For instance, a child, who is growing, need more calcium in comparison with a middle-aged person. The youth need more energy providing food because they have more activities.
One’s job is also a factor in determining the type of food one should eat. For instance, a worker needs more fatty, sugary, and starchy food, because he is very active.
The weather is another factor. Our nutritional requirements differ from each other in the seasons of summer, and winter. Also an ill person would eat differently from a healthy one.
A good cook should remember all these points.
Thirdly:It is a fact that when one reaches the age of forty and over, he is likely to get fat. Perhaps some people regard obesity as the sign of health, but they are mistaken. Obesity is an illness which could have very bad effects on the heart, blood pressure, kidneys, gall-bladder, liver, and may cause angina and diabetes. Satistics coming from medical sources and insurance companies suggest firstly that thin people live longer than fat ones.
Beyond the age of forty, one becomes less active and thus needs less fat, sugar, and starch. The calories are not turned into energy as much as before and therefore contributc towards the fattening of the body. It is therefore better to reduce your consumption of these substances.
A woman who cares for her husband’s health should put him on a special diet to stop him from getting fat. He should eat less sweets, fat, and cream, but more eggs, liver, pultry, red meat, fish and cheese. Dairy products are also useful. If permitted by the doctor, the overweight person should consume plenty of fruit, and vegetables.
If you are fed up with your husband, if you prefer to be a widow, or if you want to murder your husband without the risks of being prosecuted by the police - then you will not have to do much. Just put plenty of delicious and fattening foods before him. Encourage him to eat as much bread, rice and cakes as possible. Consequently you will get rid of him and not only will you become a widow but he would also thank you for feeding him with all these delicious foods.
You may suggest that such a propramme is possible for the wealthy people who can afford to buy any type of food they wish. You may think it impossible for those who are not so well off.
But one should not forget that all the nutritional values are hidden in the simple and natural foods. A woman who has learned about cooking would tell you that one could get all the nutritional requirements for the body from simple foodstuff such as fruits, cereals, vegetables, and dairy products. One can cook a meal with these ingredients which is both hygienic, healthy, and cheap.
Receiving Guests
One of the inevitable tasks of every family is to entertain guests at one time or another. This is an enjoyable tradition as a result of which friendships become closer and people can forget their problems temporarily. Keeping company with friends and relatives is one of the healthiest pastimes."The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The sustenance of a guest is descended from the heavens, and upon eating it, the sins of the host are forgiven’."
"Im?m Reza (AS) stated: 'A generous person eats the food offered to him by others so that they eat his. But a miser would not eat the offered food by others lest they eat his’."
"The Prophet (AS) of Allah stated: 'Associating with friends causes kindness (amongst them)’."
"Im?m Muhammad Taqi (AS) stated: 'Associating with friends matures one’s mind and enlivens one’s heart, be it even only slightly’."
In the turbulent sea of life, one’s soul needs tranquility, and this peace of mind can be found when keeping company with one’s friends.
People would forget their problems while present in a friendly gathering. Not only can friendships become stronger, but it would serve to boost one’s morale.
Entertaining guests is a good custom and rarely one would deny its rierits, but there are two difficulties with it that make some families reluctant to take part in this age-old tradition.
First: Luxury goods and vying with one another has made life difficult for many of us. Household goods which are meant to serve our comfort have turned into a means of showing off and ostentation. Thus people are tending to associate less frequently with each other. Although many who are willing to socialize, refuse to do so, because they have the wrong idea that they do not possess many luxurious items in their homes. that it would be better to keep away from others and save themselves the embarrassment. This reflection destorys one’s situation in the life after death as well as placing him in a difficult situation in this world.
Dear madam! do your friends come to your house in order to watch your luxury goods? If so, advise them to goto the stores and museums instead of coming to visit you. Associating with others is meant to increase one’s friendship with them as well as having a pleasant time. It is n meant for showing off or filling one’s stomach. Everyone is annoyed with 'luxurism and rivalry of this kind. But they dare not dispose of this mistaken tradition.
If you were prepared to entertain your guests in a simple manner, you would see that they would follow you. This way you can associate with your friends simply and without going to too much trouble. Thus, the solution to this problem is easy. Instead of trying to match your belongings to those of others’, you should concentrate on strengthening the bonds of friendship with them through kindness.
Second: Another difficulty is about the hosting of one’s guests. A housewife goes through the trouble of making food for a few guests over a period of a few hours. Sometimes a woman cannot prepare a delicious meal, after which the husband may become upset. Her husband may also show his displeasure towards her cooking. Therefore, some parties are accompanied with the anxiety of the host couple as a result of which people tend to avoid having a party.
Of course it is true that holding a party is not easy, but the main difficulty arises when the housewife does not have sufficient knowledge about how to look after her guests.
Hosting one’s guests becomes easy if one is prepared to learn the necessary skills.
Here two case studies are presented. You may follow whichever you prefer while entertaining your guests:
Case(a): The man informs his wife that on Friday night, ten of his friends are coming for dinner.
His wife who has had bitter experience with previous parties, suddenly becomes enraged and protests to her husband. After a detailed discussion and the husband’s pleading, the reluctant wife agrees to arrange the dinner for his guests. They spend their days and nights in a certain air of restlessness, and excitement until Friday. On Friday morning one of them goes for shopping. He remembers the necessary items to buy and after purchasing a few items, returns home.
The housewife starts her job after lunch. She suddenly confronts many problems. She has to do the cooking, washing, sweeping, dusting, arranging the guestroom, and so on. Also, she has to do all this and more on her own or at the most with only one person helping her. She begins to work with a great deal of worry. She looks for the knife to cut the onions, searches the house for salt, etc. She realizes that there is not any tomato in the house, so she sends somebody to buy it. She must then fry the chickens, cut the meat, soak the rice in water, clean the vegetables, ... etc.
She becomes touchy and nervous, and then shouts at the servant, curses her daughter, hits her son and then runs out of gas or kerosene. Oh God! what shall i.do?", she screams.
All of a sudden the door bell rings. The guests have arrived! They comein one after another. The poor husband who is aware of wife’s anxiety, welcomes the guests into the house and leads them to the sittingroom. He then intends to serve them with tea, but he finds out that tea is not ready. He shouts at his daughter or son for not putting the kettle on the samovar. Once the tea is made, he finds out that they do not have enough sugar. After having to buy some more sugar, he takes a few cups of tea to the guests. He looks at them but his mind is in the kitchen. He knows what is going on in that quarter. He cannot sit comfortably or talk to the guests peacefully. He is worried about the dinner. It is even worse if there are women among the guests in which case they keep asking where the woman of the house is. The man must answer that his wife is busy cooking and she will be with them soon.
The wife, occasionally goes to the guests but cannot stay and sit with them. She, while apologizing to them once again returns to her kitchen. It is not possible for her to prepare a really delicious meal under these conditions.
Once the meal is ready, she has to look for the dishes, make a drink, get the glasses, fill the salt and pepper shakers, etc.
The guests after eating their meal finally say 'good-bye’ to their hosts and leave.
Conclusion: The meal was either too salty or saltless, burnt or less- cooked. Also some of the items may have been forgotten by the hostess, and therefore not placed before her guests.
It is now midnight and the wife is exhausted.She has not had a moment of rest since noon. Also she was unable to attend to the guests properly.
The husband has gone through a great deal of worry. He has spent a lot of money for the party, but the evening was not enjoyable and he may even blame his wife.
The couple, not only have not enjoyed the party, but may also have an argument over it, and may even decide not to hold any more parties.
The guests did not enjoy the party either, because they felt that they had caused a lot of trouble for their hosts and they probably wished that they had not come at all.
Undoubtedly, the readers would not enjoy such a situation and would not be prepared or willing to have this kind of experience.
Do you know what the source of this problem is? Well, the only real cause is the lack of experience and know-how of the housewife about how to entertain her guests. Otherwise, holding a party is not such a difficult task. Now the second option:— Case (b): The man informs his wife that ten of their friends will be coming for dinner on Friday night. The wife responds by saying "Very well, what should we prepare for dinner that night?"
The couple decides on this matter together and then writes down all the necessary items needed for the party. They recheck their needs again and by crossing out those items that they already have in their house, re-write the items that they would have to purchase. Then in good time they do their shopping.
On Thursday, a day before the party, they finish some of the work such as cutting onions, washing the potatoes, filling the salt and pepper shakers, preparing the tablewares and so on.
The following morning, the woman of the house after eating breakfast, carries out some of her tasks like washing, cutting and frying the meat, chicken, and potatoes. After lunch she can take a rest after which she can finish the remainder of her work.
So she can finish all her cooking, tidying up and arranging the house without any rush or worries. .There would be no need for arguments or any cause for confusion.
She would have enough time to get herself ready and prepare a cup of tea when their guests arrive. She can then welcome the guests alongside her husband and sit and talk to them. She would just need to go to the kitchen to make sure everything was going smoothly.
She can ask her husband and the children to help her in setting the food in front of the guests. Therefore, everyone would be able to comfortably enjoy their delicious meal.
Conclusion: The guests have enjoyed the company of their hosts. They have talked and their friendship had become stronger. They have enjoyed the meal and have admired the housewife for her ability to entertain them. Finally, they have enjoyed an evening which they would remember for a long time to come.
The husband has been able to associate with the guests. He has had a good time with his friends and is happy with his wife for not letting him down. They become encouraged to invite their friends over and over again.
Finally, the woman who, through patience and know-how, has been able to entertain the guests normally and without any problem, is satisfied with herself. She feels happy with her husband and has proved herself to be a good hostess.
Now you can choose to follow either of the two examples.
