Rafed English

Don’t cut it off!

When there are unreasonable fears in children, raising the issue suddenly, involving them in what they are afraid of and cautioning them are not favourable.

The psychological capacity of children is not like that of adults, and such involvement is not only void of any therapeutic value, but it also causes excessive fear in children. We should try to gradually overcome sensitivity. In this method, we first make the child familiar with a similar situation.  Some children fear going to the hairdressers’ to have a haircut. In order to overcome the fear, it is sufficient to design a game with a doll or a friend of the child who does not fear having a haircut. After the child becomes slightly familiar with the issue – of course without any involvement – we can take the child with his/her mother, father or a friend to the hairdressers’ to see the others having a haircut in order to decrease the child’s level of sensitivity. After a while, we can gradually involve the child and help him/her to overcome the fear. For example, we can have the top of his/her hair cut.   We should not forget to reward the child for bearing the situation. After a while, the sensitivity of the child will vanish and he/she will overcome the fear.

In the case of children who don’t like their hair being cut, we should remember that the identity of children develops gradually, and this development first appears externally, then internally. It is prudent that the parents allow children to make decisions about their own appearance. If a small girl does not like having her hair cut, it is better to not oppose her. Sometimes a family emphasizes that having long hair makes it difficult to keep one’s hair tidy and clean. However, it is possible to make the child feel responsible. For example, this can be done by telling the child that he/she cannot go outside if his/her hair is not tidy. We should teach the child to be tidy and neat.

In the case of boys, although appearance is important for the formation of identity, we should take into account the formation of the sexual identity as well. Because the formation of the sexual identity starts at the age of 2, we should help boys discover their sexual identity. In the case of boys, we should train them by encouraging them to appear like their fathers.

By: Dr. Nasrin Amiri

Source: mahjubah.com

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