Funny Stuff

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?

Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee.
Well buzz off I'm busy!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito
Go away, sucker!

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!

Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!

Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!

Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?

Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off.
Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!

Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m invisible
Who said that?