Rafed English

Disciplinarian Parents on the Wrong Footing

Arguments between father and son are not uncommon in a family. However, on one such occasion this argument between a father and his adolescent son was more energetic. The energy was in the form of more 'heat' to intensify the argument than ht' to pacify it. The argument came to an abrupt stop when the son suddenly blurted: "You have always showed a dislike for me - more when I was a child".

The father later questioned the mother of the son whether he was not affectionate ugh to their son when a child, to buy him things he wanted by stretching his own limited means, - and whether he did not generally act as a good father to the son during his childhood.

And then the father asked a very pertinent question: Was he not a good disciplinarian father out of affection for his child? "Disciplinarian" he was, but the attempt was discipline not the child but also the nature in the child over which the child himself j no control, and therefore the affection for the child was seen by the child as a like for him. Bundle Of Energy.

A child gains and therefore expends the physical energy more than the mental one. is virtually a bursting bundle of physical energy. He cannot keep himself still for I long period of time. When he wants to walk, he finds himself running. He would instead of walking briskly to the refrigerator for a can of juice.

He would sprint ahead and then wait for his parents to catch up with him when they all stroll together- in the street. Even in the state of sleep, the child shows his bursting energy. He changes his sides quickly flinging his limbs in the process in his sleep.

While on a pilgrimage, watch the young children who join their parents in the congregation of salaat-al-sub'h in the haram of Mecca or Medina when the recitation from the Qur'an during Qiyaam is long. They, though young for the obligatory prayers, but being from the foreign countries, join the parents in the prayers. Their hands and legs cannot remain still while the long recitation from the Qur'an continues. With some there are also sudden body-jerks as if caused by a prick of a pin. This is a typical nature of a child; a healthy one.

I Now what can be more hateful to the child than to be made to sit still and quiet in a corner as a punishment or for want of silence in the house while the father is entertaining visitors or quietly engaged in reading news-papers. The father even forgets for some moments the restraint which he has imposed on the child.

How unkind it is to the child when he is made to sit erect on a chair with his eyes glued boringly into a book while he can hear his friends, among the children in the neighbourhood, expending their extra energy by playing in the backyard of the house, and he is normally with them as usual at that time of the day or week- end.

Adapted from the book: "Child" by: "Mohamed A. Khalfan"

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