Rafed English

Child and the Doors to Graduation

There was the primary phase, to start with, which then inevitably opened the doors to the two subsequent phases leading to the graduation. The parents would more often than not decline permission to the daughter unfairly as a tradition when she was a child because they felt "No" was rightly safer than safely right.

However, as the refusal was unfair but always pops out first as a tradition in the family, there would "rightly" be a reversal later to please not only the daughter but also the parents them- selves!

Perhaps the parents enjoyed the feel of authority over the daughter or reversal of refusal was their way of impressing her about their love for her. Whatever the case, the consequences that ensue stage by stage become irreversible. They include a long-term disturbance in the mental and physical health of the parents.

There followed another phase, as the daughter got to know the weakness of fickle- ness (wavering) of the parents. She would argue, sulk or cry until the answer is reversed to "okay yes, dear" where the parents should have remained firm with the original refusal.

Such a successful exploitation of the parents' love was more a rule of the game than exception for the daughter. With it, her choices for which the initial permission was negative became bolder and bolder. What is worse, the siblings too tended to follow her behaviour.

Adapted from the book: "Child" by: "Mohamed A. Khalfan"

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