Rafed English

Causes of Jealousy - Comparing

All human beings (and children) have different abilities and personalities. A variety of characters and traits in a family make the home a lively and interesting place. Many parents, however, make the mistake of constantly comparing children with one another. Although the intent is to try and make one child imitate the good behavior of another, the result is often resentment and jealousy. Comparison lowers the self-esteem of children, especially when one child is always at a disadvantage. Sometimes children are given labels. So one may be “lazy”, another “smart”, another “slow” etc. Such labels, especially if given constantly, eventually become accepted and believed. A “slow” child comes to believe that he is slow and may never wholly overcome it.

At times parents compare their children to those of other families. It is all right to sometimes mention the good qualities of another child, but it must be done gently and carefully. It is wrong to praise other children and lower one’s own, especially if this is done constantly.

Adopted from the book: "Raising Children" by: "Tahera Kassamali"

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