Rafed English

The Manners of Condolence

The art of social relations doesn't mean that we should only be with people at the time of happiness; rather it requires us to be with them at the time of tragedy also. Maybe the need for comfort and a comforter, for an angry man, is much greater than a happy man.

Among the manners of condolence are:

A. Taking part in the burial activities of the deceased, to walk in a sad mood as if the deceased is ours; and we should continue to recite the words of believing in the will of Allah, like:

'La'ilaha Illallah'

(There is no god, but Allah),

'La hawla wa la quwata illa billah'

(There is nor power but with Allah)

'Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi Raji'un';

(We are from Allah, and to Him we return)

We should also hold a part of the coffin and continue seeking Allah's forgiveness for the deceased.

B- We should take part in the prayer for the deceased and read chapter 'Fatihah' (the opening chapter in the Qur'an) for him.

C- We should escort the deceased to his final resting-place; and, also, comfort his/her family and relatives with the words of sympathy and ask them to be patient with what has happened to them.

D- We should take part in the ceremonies of reading 'fatihah' and du'a (supplications) for the deceased.

E- We should help the family of the deceased with what we can afford, so as to comfort them for the loss.

F- If we are far from the place where our friend or one of his relatives died, we can extend our condolences to his family by telephone, letter, telex, fax, and internet. There are certain common and well-known terms and expressions for extending condolences, which depend on the culture and custom of the people. Among them are

"May Allah glorify your rewards."

"(We are from Allah, and to Him we return) "

Adapted from the book: "The Art of Social Relations" by: "Al-Balagh Foundation"

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