Recommended Acts of Conception
It is important to note that many of the acts mentioned in this section are similar to those outlined in the Sexual Etiquette section, with the addition of how it affects the conceived child.
State of mind
The state of mind and soul of the parents has an important effect on the child. The following incidents reflect the importance of the state of mind when conceiving, and its consequences.
a. While Prophet Mu-sa- (as) was working as a shepherd for Prophet Shuaib (as), they made an agreement that any sheep from the flock that were parti-coloured (both black and white) would be paid to Prophet Mu-sa- (as) as his wage. After this agreement, Prophet Mu-sa- (as) covered parts of his stick with coloured skin and left some parts as they were, hung a similar parti-coloured cloth (Aba) on the stick and then put this stick up in the sheep’s pasturing ground. At the time of reproducing, the sheep would look at this.
At the end of the year, when it was time to collect wages, Prophet Shuaib (as) noticed that most of the children of the sheep were parti-coloured! Prophet Mu-sa- (as) explained that this was the direct effect of looking at the stick and cloth at the time of reproduction. 89
b. In an African family, where both husband and wife were black-skinned, they had a tan-skinned child (like that of an American Indian). When researching this, scientists found that the husband had an American Indian friend and had stuck a picture of that friend on the wall. At the time of conception, his gaze fell on the picture and he thought of his friend; this very thought had an effect on the sperm and a tan-skinned child, similar to his friend, was born. 90
Therefore, when trying to conceive, it is strongly recommended in Islam that the recommended acts below are adhered to in order to conceive a pure and good child:
1. Try and be relaxed, as this results in increased blood circulation and thus, a normal child. It is narrated from Ima-m Hasan (as): “(If) at every time of conception, the heart is relaxed, blood circulation is normal and the body is without agitation and anxiety, the child will resemble his father and mother.” 91
2. Likewise, a healthy relationship between husband and wife and a strong physical attraction is beneficial for the child, whereas fear and worry will have a negative effect on the child. 92
3. Be in Wudu- and in the remembrance of Alla-h (swt) as this results in relaxation and calming of the heart and has positive effects on the sperm and thus the child. 93 Alla-h (swt) states this in the Noble Qur’an, in Surat al-Ra’d, Verse 28:
“Those who have faith and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Alla-h (swt); Look! The hearts find rest in Alla-h (swt)’s remembrance!”
4. Start with the following Du‘a-:
It is narrated from the Ima-m al-Ba-qir (as) that before the act, recite the following:
“O Alla-h (swt)! Bless me with a child, and make him pious. Let there not be in his creation any excess or any defect, and give him a good destiny.” 94
State of body
The state of the body of the parents too, has a perceptible effect on the child, and can lead to weaknesses and illnesses in the child if one is not careful.
1. Do not make love the night that you return from a journey, or the night that you intend to leave for a journey, as one is usually stressed and tired on these nights. It has also been narrated that this results in the child being a wanderer and a pedlar, 95 and the child will use up his wealth in the wrong ways. 96
2. Do not make love in the first hours of the night, with a tired body and a full stomach, as this results in the child being a sorcerer and choosing the world over the hereafter. 97 Rather, make love in the late hours of the night, when your tiredness is almost gone, and your stomach is empty. It has also been found that a child conceived in the late hours of the night is more intelligent. 98
Protection from Satan 99
In order to prevent the effects of Satan on this important night, the following acts are also recommended:
1. Make intention that you are trying for a child, for the sake of the pleasure and nearness of Alla-h (swt).
2. Before engaging in the act, recite Qur’an and thank Alla-h (swt) for the blessings He has given.
3. Before engaging in the act, start with:
“A’udhu billahi min ash-Satan ir-rajeem”
because this ensures that the child conceived will not have qualities of Satan.
“Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim”
5. Remember Alla-h (swt) often, especially during the act. It is narrated from Ima-m as-Sa-diq (as): “Whenever a person makes love to his wife, Satan is present. Then, if the name of Alla-h (swt) is remembered, Satan goes far from there, but if the act occurs and the name of Alla-h (swt) is not taken, Satan takes part in that he is one with the sperm.” 100
It is also narrated from Ima-m as-Sa-diq (as): “Anytime you want to make love to your wife, remember Alla-h (swt). Because anyone who does not do so and a child is born from him in that state, he/she is from the polytheism of Satan. And the purity or lack of purity of the child is determined by the love and enmity of us, the Ahlul Bayt.” 101
6. Recite the following Du‘a-s:
“In the name of Alla-h (swt), the Beneficient, the Merciful. The one whom there is no God but He, the creator of the heavens and the earth. O Alla-h (swt)! If you have decreed for me in this night a successor, then don’t let Satan have any part, share or portion in him, and make him a sincere believer, pure from Satan and his evil deeds (great is Your praise).” 102
“In the name of Alla-h (swt), and with Alla-h (swt). O Alla-h (swt)! Keep Satan away from me, and keep Satan away from that which you bless me with.” 103
7. Inculcate the love of the Ahlul Bayt (as) in yourselves. It is narrated from Ima-m as-Sa-diq (as): “Sometimes Satan comes near to the wives like their husbands.” When asked how to determine whether Satan has a part in the conception of our children or not, Ima-m replied: “By the way of love or grudge to us. So anyone who loves us, Satan has no part in the conception, and anyone who is our enemy, his seed (sperm) is from Satan.” 104
It is narrated in a tradition that Satan has said: “Anybody who is an enemy of Ima-m ‘Ali-, without a doubt I took part in the act between his father and his mother.” 105
It is narrated from Ima-m as-Sa-diq (as): “Inspire (teach) your girls and women friendship of the family of ‘Ali- (as) and (thus) leave them with the state (of pure heart and far from crooked Akhla-q).” 106
NOTE: Love of the Ahlul Bayt (as) does not simply mean professing a liking for them, but rather taking them as a role-model for every aspect of our daily lives and striving to work towards their example.
8. Ensure your relationship is permitted and legitimate. The Prophet (s) said to Ima-m ‘Ali- (as): “Oh ‘Ali-! Anyone who likes me and you and the Ima-ms from your offspring (should) then thank Alla-h (swt) for his legitimacy, because nobody but those who are legitimate (born) likes us and nobody but those who are illegitimate (born) are our enemies.” 107
Indeed, during the time of Ima-m ‘Ali- (as), the method of distinguishing whether children were legitimate or not was by bringing them near the Ima-m and seeing whether they liked him or not. 108
89 Behda-sht Izdawa-j az Nazr Islam, pg. 89
90 Izdawa-j Asa-n, pg. 245
91 Biha-r al-Anwa-r, vol. 14, pg. 379
92 Rayha-n-e Beheshti-, pg. 33
93 Ibid., pg. 39
94 Wasa-il ash-Shi-‘a, vol. 20, pg. 117, no. 25180
95 Ibid., vol. 20, pg. 253, no. 25560
96 Halliyatul Muttaqi-n, pg. 112-114
98 Rayha-n-e Beheshti-, pg. 40
99 Niya-zha- wa Rawa-bith Ma-dara-n wa Jani-n, pg. 72
100 al-Ka-fi-, vol. 5, pg. 502
101 Sharh Man La- Yahdhural Faqi-, vol. 8, pg. 202
102 al-Ka-fi-, vol. 5, pg. 503
104 Tafsir Nur al-Thaqalayn, vol. 3, pg. 183
105 Niya-zha- wa Rawa-bith Ma-dara-n wa Jani-n, pg. 76
106 Sharh Man Laa Yahdhural Faqi-, vol. 3, pg. 493
107 Al-Ama-li of Shaykh Sadu-q, vol. 7, pg. 383
108 Ma-naqibe Ibn Shahr Ashu-b, vol. 3, pg. 207
Adapted from the book: "From Marriage to Parenthood; The Heavenly Path" by: "Abbas and Shahin Merali"
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