Pregnancy

I want a baby and I think I am ready for one and my husband really wants one too! I am extremely nervous thinking about the whole experience though The entire pregnancy scares me. Usually women are concerned about the birth but I am scared about the changes that I face being pregnant. Do you think this means I am not ready yet? I want to have a baby and we are financially secure but I just cannot get over this fear. It's really bad.

I am specifically afraid of my body changing and the labor. I am just that type of person to always have to be prepared and know the unexpected. I am scared that the pregancy will be hard on me. I hear horror stories of how pregnant women feel horribly ill and the labor can last days. I am very nervous I would not be able to handle this and am corious as to how women do it -- work full-time and carry a child.

My job is aware of my starting a family this year and is very understanding. There is nothing standing in my way. This is way I do not understand why I am feeling this way. Is this normal and if so how can I overcome my fears? I am constantly looking up information and reading about it but I think that is just making me more nervous.

ANSWER:

Becoming pregnant is a huge step for a woman, and it is very understandable that you might be afraid of something you've never done before. Remember that you come from thousands of years of good stock; you are built to carry and deliver a child safely. It sounds like you will take good care of yourself, and you will probably have a great pregnancy.

Your body will change (obviously) during the pregnancy. There is no way to get out of that part, but eating healthy food and gaining the right amount of weight will help. Labor is painful, but need not include suffering. You can get a doula and/or pain medications to help. You are built to have a baby; if you weren't, your fore-mothers would not have made it through labor. The fact that you are even alive is proof that you come from a long line of good birthers. Depending on how your pregnancy goes and what type of work you do, you may need to make adjustments to your work schedule in order to be a mother. A wise woman once said, "You CAN do it all, just not at the same time."

Two things you might consider are counseling and a book called "Birthing from Within." Being a parent (starting with pregnancy) is an exercise in loss of control -- you really cannot control any other human being, and if you ever doubted this fact, you just have to have a child. But the other side of this is that you will soon feel love like you have never felt it before.

GOOD LUCK