Rafed English

Facing My Fears

Fears. We all have them. Some people handle them better than others, but at the end of the day, they are still there. They live inside of us, affecting our personalities, our decisions and sometimes, our lives. But as Muslims, as slaves of Allah ta’ala, we have to remember to keep our fears in check. Like goals, we should prioritize our fears as well, giving more thought to the ones that will affect our akhira and leaving behind the ones that are solely based on the dunya.

A major fear of mine was putting on the hijab. However, this hesitation was based only on the dunya. I was afraid of what people would think of me, of how I would be perceived in the Western world. I was afraid of seeming “backwards” and being unable to beautify myself outwardly.

But that wasn’t all. It wasn’t all about the physical. I was also afraid of how hijab would hold me back from things I wanted to do in my life.

Will I still be able to travel? Who will hire me if I wear a hijab? Will be treated as an equal?

All these questions stood in my way.

However, once I put on the hijab, I wasn’t affected by any of my fears, Alhamdulillah. I’ve done so much more in my life since I put on the hijab, than when I wasn’t wearing it.

I’ve had the opportunity to go skydiving. I remember while driving there, I was worried about my hijab, worried if it would choke me or fly off. I was worried about the pins and what people would think. But the truth is that all that didn’t matter. I never would’ve imagined I would jump out of a plane 15,000 feet in the air. Allah subhannu wa ta’ala gave me the opportunity to feel that thrill, that rush, that many don’t get to feel in their lives and I did it with a hijab around my head and “Bismillah” on my tongue.

Recently, I went to Cancun, Mexico for a vacation. My husband and I stayed at a lovely resort and thinking back before the trip, I had my reservations about it. I didn’t know how I could have fun with hijab on. I wouldn’t be able to swim or have fun on the beach. Would it be too hot for me? Would people wonder why my husband and I don’t drink? These things seem miniscule now, but they did cross my mind.

However, Allah ta’ala put baraka in our trip because we made pure intentions to go and knew we would only behave and act the way Muslims should. We met great couples that were respectful and nice and we were treated with only kindness. I was shocked by the number of times I was complimented on my hijab or had women tell me that I looked beautiful with my “wrap.” Subhan’Allah!

There are many fears that Muslims have when it comes to making the right decisions, but once you do what is right, Allah ta’ala will only reward you and insha’Allah put baraka in your life. So whatever it is that you are afraid of, whatever is holding you back from being a better Muslim, put it aside and prioritize what is important. Take a step towards your Lord and watch your fears melt away as the security of Islam embraces you.

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