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Family Life

Caution From Divorce

Islam has cautioned from divorce and putting an end to marital relations because of the negative effects that leaves on the two spouses, the children and the society. Divorce is the fountain head of anxiety, psychopath, illness in emotion and conduct of the children where as the child is in needs of equal love and kindness from the both parents.

Even by just pondering over divorce it originates unrest and anxiety inside him and remains in continuous fears and troubles that negatively reflect in his emotional and personal stability. Verily Islam has laid down methods of relations and its continuation because of the obstacles preventing reaching the decision which do destroy families and prevents marital relationships, and caution from divorce in different places. The holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Jibra'il (peace be upon him) warns me of women until I deem it not necessary to divorce them except in a clear atrocity" 39.

Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "There is nothing that Allah has made lawful but dislike except divorce; Allah hates those that derive pleasure from quick divorce" 40.

He (peace be upon him) said: "Verily Allah the Great and Almighty loves the house having two spouses and dislikes the house having divorce and there is nothing more hateful to Allah other than divorce" 41.

Islam has urged us to take and arrange objectivity to prevent the occurrence of divorce and call for strengthening the love and cordial relations and it also call for resolving the problems and controversies that do lead to divorce and ordered for peace loving.

Allah the most High said: {.... But consort with them in kindness, for if ye hate them it may happen that ye hate a thing where in Allah has place much good} 42.

And urge reconciliation and restoration of the family ties, Allah the most High said: {If a woman fearth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves and peace is better} 43.

Then reconciliations are better than non reconciliation, for the fact that minds and feelings differs from one time to the other. Islam has verily urge for reconciliation and negotiation before taking decision for separation. Almighty Allah said: {And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife) appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. if they don't desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware} 44.

If all trial for reconciliation and restoration of the relation to its normality is not beneficial and if the tenses and constrictions did not need any thing other than divorce then possible divorce is a bliss for the both spouses but it will have psychological effects on the child and it will reflect in to his mode of life, that is why Islam granted another ample chance for restoring the marital life once again. Islam gives the Right of the restoration to the male spouse with the waiting period (Iddah) for the women after the taking place of divorce without new contract (Aqd) and after the said waiting period (Iddah) for the women but with new contract (Aqd).

It has also given the Right of restoration to man after the first and the second divorces if there is actual separation after all the unsuccessful trial to restore the marital relationships, and then it is incumbent on the parents to observe the feelings of the child and grant him love and sympathy.

It is also incumbent on them to provide the atmosphere that will assist the child regards his faith and safety of his parent's conducts. Henceforth Islam has forbade slandering, backbiting and unveiling ones short-comings, with these, the child will be able to endure the shock that arise from the divorce.

But if all these styles are not observe while both parents always try to unveil the short-coming of each other before the child, the child will hate the life and despise himself and it will reflect in his emotional feelings towards his both parents. He will love them but at same time will hate them for knowing the parent's short-comings. He then remain living in a continuous unrest and anxiety, his grief will increase one day after the other and negatively reflect in his societal and his future family relationships.

Notes:

39 - Manla yahdurhul faqeeh vol-3:278/ ch- Women's Right on Men.

40 - Al-kafi vol-6:54/ 2nd ch- prohibiting divorce on agreement.

41 - Al-kafi vol-6:56/ 3rd ch- prohibiting divorce on agreement.

42 - Qur'an 4:19.

43 - Qur'an 4:128.

44 - Qur'an 4:35.

Adapted from the book: "The Child's Education in Islam" by: "Ismail Abdullah"