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Family Life

Duties of Families

Family is responsible for educating the children correctly in standard criteria that are away from aberrance. There is a number of duties and obligations of families.

First, Families are responsible for saving the factors of settlement, amiability, and tranquillity in home, and removing any sort of violence, malice, and antagonism. The aberrance of majority of the aggressive children, which would lead to criminality, was the result of the home unsettlement. An educationist says, “If we visit jails, brothels, and insane asylums-- then visit schools for counting the unsuccessful, the quarrel makers, the politically extremists, and the abnormal, we will definitely notice that most of such individuals were deprived of the family settlement. They must have been lacking tranquil houses in which there should be compassionate fathers and kind mothers that do not exceed in dalliance or severity. The corruption of such houses has created such pictures of social disorder and purposeless and unsettled generations.”.

Amiability and compassion to sons have the greatest bearing on the sound composition of individuals. Mental complexes are the inevitable result in case fathers pay no attention to this fact. Sons are not ready to accept any advice or guidance unless there is a sort of sincere amiability among the members of families. Psychologists have proven that the complexes that emerge in the period of early childhood, especially those complexes that are originated from the parents’ bad relations with their sons, are the most serious and the preliminary to personal disorders.. Mutual concordance and amiability help in creating the intellectual maturity and the personal boons. Dr. Gilas Thomas says, “Despite the parents’ big responsibility of guiding and training their children, it is quite important to realize that such practices should never replace another essential task that parents must do. This task is the creation of an amiable mood that is shaded by care, and surrounded by compassion and justice. If parents show dearth in reviving such a mood in which the norms of composition are illuminated, they will deprive the children of an uncompensated constituent. Religion, society, and school play a remarkable role in educating the youth. However, none of these factors can save the impressive emotions the center of which is home, and the perfumes of which are smelt among families only.”.

The family pleasure prompts tranquillity in the children’s minds and helps in facing the life difficulties. Salama Musa says, “The family pleasure of children prompts tranquillity to the degree that it does not fade away even if fathers depart the life. When the children of London were evacuated during the raids of the Second World War, it was found that the children who enjoyed that family pleasure could stand the estrangement more than the others could. This proves that the family satisfactory mood prompts tranquillity in the children’s minds. Hence, those children could encounter the estrangement satisfactorily. Estrangement increased for the children who were brought up in troublesome mood. Finally, we expect the children to provide pleasure if they are brought up in pleasant mood.”.

Second, families should supervise the processes of education. Sociologists confirm this necessity. They emphasize that families must be in charge of the processes of the social education through which the children acquire the cultural experts and the rulings that make them eligible for receiving more and more, and fit enough for dealing with the society. Correspondingly, educationists confirm that parents should afford enough compassion, sympathy, and kindness to their children for securing them against depression and melancholy. UNESCO provided a noteworthy report about the defects that may be suffered by the children due to the deficiency of fathers’ compassion. “Children’s deprivation of their fathers, whether temporarily or permanently, results in depression and melancholy accompanied by feelings of sinfulness and malice. It also causes uncontrollable rebellious tempers, self-faintness, and loss of the feeling of family compassion. Children that are affected by the deprivation of fathers always swim in illusive worlds, because they are the substitutes of the actual world that they have lost. In most cases, they dream of heroic fathers and angelic mothers. In a survey on kindergartens, it has been noticed that defects, such as difficulty of articulation, ill naturedness and deficiency of emotional sentiment, occur to the children who depart their parents, despite their good health, maturity, and accurate intentional motives..

Association and supervision are the best ways of protecting the children. Modern educationists affirm that the best heritage that should be left to the children is no more than a few minutes a day.. Sociologists who survey the juvenile delinquency have proven that the best way of eradicating the juvenile aberrance is picking the fathers who wander at night from the streets..

Indisputably, fathers who fulfill their duties to their sons, such as supervision and association, will find those sons copying their qualities and natures. Fathers are also asked to give away the luxurious amusement and confine on supervising their sons so that they will be saved against degradation and negligence.

Ahmed Shawqi –An Egyptian poet- says that orphans are not those individuals whose parents depart away and leave them alone. Real orphans are those who have to encounter negligent mothers and busy fathers.

Third, some educationists believe that fathers and mothers should apply the following steps as duties:

1. Parents should unanimously agree upon the criteria of behavior. One should support the other in the decisions that are related to their sons.

2. Fathers should put in their daily programs that they must associate with their sons, including the babies, for a considerable time. Such practices contribute in seeding the feelings of association in the family.

3. Children ought to make out that their fathers should have enough time for personal activities and practices, such as privacy, reading or practicing their hobbies.

4. Fathers should make their daughters feel their femininity and responsibility of being virtuous, chaste, and righteous.

5. Sons are in need of masculine, powerful, and kind fathers. Any excessive hardness and strictness may cause the sons to take shelter of their mothers and pursue womanish behaviors..

Naturally, children enjoy spontaneous qualities, such as purity, inexperience, sound emotions and simple mentality. Thus, parents should direct their eyes to virtues and seed moral tendencies so that they will yield well in the future.

Adapted from the book: "The Educational System in Islam" by: "Baqir Sharif Al-Qireshi"