Just as athletes rely on their team members and encourage each other, don’t forget that you have a team, too. Now that the going’s gotten rough with your decision to quit smoking, it’s time to call on your team – the family and friends who will cooperate and encourage you in your “big game.”
At this point, you probably have a better idea of who is actually helpful in guiding you around temptations, or just understanding what you’re going through. Follow these leads.
- Maybe you’ll arrange a meeting for lunch or phone calls or just a calm walk together after dinner. Whatever style works for you, think about getting more of their company and encouragement!
- If you have one key family member or friend whom you’ve looked to for help, review how that’s gone. Because you’ve slipped up in your nonsmoking plan, you may have hesitated to keep in touch with him.
- Were you afraid of discouraging him? Or maybe you’ve been too embarrassed to call and admit your problems. If he cares about you, he’ll understand and want to be helpful. But chances are good that your key person will be a lot more understanding than you may fear.
- Make that call! If your friends or family members are ex-smokers, they will know how good it feels and will be happy to give you all the encouragement they can. And if they had trouble quitting, too, they can make you feel understood. Maybe you can put your heads together and come up with a few new strategies that could help you.
- Finally, think about your family condition. Under the best circumstances, your family members will be rooting for you all the way. But perhaps your spouse or your parents are smokers. They may resent your efforts, or feel guilty about not trying to quit smoking with you. If this has been a problem in your family, it could be the reason you’ve had trouble staying quit.
- Try to think of your quitting as separate from their smoking. It’s their right to smoke and it’s your right to quit smoking. You can’t make your spouse or family members quit smoking. So focus on cooperation and support from other family and friends who don’t smoke. But of course you don’t want to avoid the people you love.
Did you really “Fail”?
Let’s take a closer look at this “failure.” Is the word failure actually an accurate description of what went on? Does a relapse mean that you have so totally failed to quit smoking that there is no hope?
Does this mean that you will always remain a smoker? No way! If that were the case, most former smokers never would have made it. Just ask any former smoker if he or she relapsed, and there is a good chance you will hear a big fat “yes.”
Again, having a relapse is a normal part of quitting smoking. Those who have been able to quit smoking without relapsing are few and far between. Most of you should count on relapsing and expect it to happen.
Asking yourself to quit smoking without going through a relapse is like asking yourself to learn how to ride a bicycle without ever falling – not a very reasonable expectation!