It's not the minutes spent at a table that puts on weight, it's the seconds.
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More fattening than the ice cream sundae is the spoon you put into it.
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I'm on a 30-day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.
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The older you get the harder it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have become good friends.
A woman was overweight so her doctor put her on a diet. He told her "Eat regularly for 2 days, skip a day, then jump back and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. I expect you to lose 5 pounds."
When the woman returned, however, she had lost 20 pounds. The doctor was amazed. "Did you do as I asked?"
She answered. "Of course. But I thought I was going to die."
This puzzled the doctor. "You mean from hunger?"
"No, from all of that skipping and jumping."
Eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
-- Mark Twain
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No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
-- George Bernard Shaw
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YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO DIET WHEN...
You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts