Forbearance

As was mentioned earlier, women's feelings dominate their intellect. If a girl is not brought up properly according to Islamic ethics, she is apt to become hot-tempered and sharp-tongued. On the other hand, a man is not so dominated by emotions. Therefore, Islam has enjoined man to have patience and forebearance in the face of woman's temper. A man must be tolerant to his wife, keeping in view her natural weakness and remembering that she by nature is governed by emotions.

Allah says ... And live with them (women) on a footing of kindness and equity; and even if ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah created in it a great deal of good. (Qur'an, 4:19)

There is no denying that it is a very tough assignment and sometimes needs a lot of patience. Allah says in the Qur'an And there are men who say: "Our Lord! give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the torment of the Fire." (Qur'an, 2: 201)

Among several explanations of this ayah, Amir al-mu'minin, `Ali (a. s.) said: Good in this world means a good-natured wife, good in the Hereafter means `huru'l- 'in', and `torment of the Fire' means a `bad natured wife.' (Tafsir Safi)

To say that a bad-natured, hot-tempered wife is the torment of the Fire presents the reality in the best possible way. But we should always keep these ahadith (traditions) in view: Verily, Ibrahim (a.s.) complained to Allah against the temper of (his wife) Sarah. Then, Allah sent a message to him telling him that "Verily, the likeness of woman is likeness of a rib; if you straightened it, it would break; and if you left it as it is you will benefit from it."

In short, many ayat of the Qur'an and many ahadith exhort the married couple to stengthen the bond of mutual love and effection as long as they are linked together in matrimonial bond, even if it means self-denial and extraordinary patience. And it is by following this principle that human beings may enjoy the peace in this world and happiness in the life hereafter.

Adopted from the book: "The Family Life of Islam" by: "Sayyid Saeed Akhtar Rizivi"