Rafed English

Decrease in matrimony, A great social tragedy

Adapted from: "Sexual problems of Youths by: "Ayatullah Makarim Shirazi"

Decrease in matrimony, reluctance of the youth to marry and preferring the abnormal life of singleness, and more accurately what could not be called life at all, is a great tragedy for humanity, which has involved man of our age along with other negative impacts of automation life.

Decrease in matrimony is not tragic just for resulting in extinction or low generation, and we cannot reason that it is not a problem at present and perhaps within the next years, and on the contrary, increase in population is now a cause of concern (of course in the non-industrial countries, but not the industrial ones where population is extremely controlled)!

Its major disadvantage is that unmarried individuals lag behind others in view of feeling social responsibility. They do not belong to any society, and resemble those suspending and wandering in the immense space among the spheres in weightlessness!

They may forget their homeland for a little purpose, and immediately fly to another part, or even commit suicide when facing problems.

According to statistics, suicide occurs much more among the single than married people.

Brain drain is seen much more among singles that have not made any marriage contract with the society of their home country.

Most criminals are either single or live alone. In fact, matrimony prevents man from thinking that he belongs to himself and making improper decision about himself and his future, because he feels responsibility against the small society called “family”.

“Lack of feeling responsibility” and “lack of social relation” have other evil consequences, the most important of which is non-utilization and non-mobilization of all powers and forces for improvement and development in life. Not too much power is required for earning livelihood of one for whom there is no problem how to spend his life,!

This is the reason why the life of single individuals is mixed with depression, laziness, indifference towards obtaining and preserving life facilities, and activation of their genius.

Many weak-kneed and infirm who are unable to earn their own livelihood and live as burdens for the society when they are single, change to decisive, serious, firm, agile and observant persons after marriage. All these are miracles of feeling responsibility!

Emphasis made in “Islamic resources” indicating that “Wife is accompanied with sustenance” may refer to the same concept.

In this respect, we can compare the single to the “wandering nomads” who have never tried to improve the lands where they live temporarily and easily immigrate to another place.

From the moral point of view, the single will never be “Perfect Men”, because many moral aspects, such as loyalty, forgiveness, manliness, affection, kindness, dedication and gratitude are realized in the family and joint life of the spouses and children. Those who have not experienced this situation are less familiar with these concepts.

It is true that undertaking the responsibility of joint life after marriage is accompanied with many problems and obligations for man, but is it possible for one to find perfection without facing problems and discharging responsibilities?!

The issue of responding to the natural needs of body and spirit, and the unfavourable mental and corporeal reactions caused by saying no to this need, is definite and certain.

Taking into account these undeniable realities, we have not exaggerated if we call tendency to “singleness” and continuous decrease in marriage a social tragedy.

On the other hand, the question is how we shall deal with the stalemates and strenuous problems that youths may have for fulfilment of this “natural and social obligation”? Is it still possible to fulfil this great and sacred obligation on time even in the present conditions of machine life, undue expectations, disagreement between parents and youth, educational conditions, unemployment and distrust of youths on each other?

These points shall be carefully examined, and the final resolution of this social dilemma is impossible without solving them.

The point that shall be necessarily taken into consideration here is that the current messy situation of marriage and its concerned problems are in fact what we and our society have created and imposed on ourselves.

It has not rained from the sky or sprouted from the earth. We have established it as a result of competition, ignorance, improper pre-judgments, wrong calculations and involvement in a series of harmful habits, customs and blindly imitations.

Therefore, if we decide, we can change this situation, and establish a new plan based on realities and noble concepts of life, not based on imaginations, conjecture and wrong imitations.

There is no stalemate, no miracle is required, and correction of the current situation is not impossible.


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