Building through Family Relationships

It has become clear that society stands on three basic pillars. They are as follows:

1. The reaction between the two cases of womanhood and manhood, for they have biological and psychological qualities, and that the happiness of society, its psychological tranquility, its social and material growth, the development of its production, and the righteousness of its behavior depends, to a large extent, on the righteous reaction between the two psychological states- the state of womanhood and manhood.

2. The link of common culture and thought.

3. Exchanging interests among the various members of society- males and females.

According to the first and third pillars, the social function of all the members of society, males and females, have come into existence according to their physical and mental abilities and their psychological inclinations.

According to these pillars, woman moves to take part in building family and society. The widest fields of this participation is family.

Psychological studies have confirmed the Qur'an when it denoted that family was the base of society and was among its most important foundations and the foundation on which social life is built. Thus, the Qur'an has explained that and put the rules of relationship between man and woman and between the rights and duties of both man and woman to make them able to work and to build a happy social life.

Allah, the Exalted, said: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves, mates that you may dwell (inclined) unto them, and caused between you love and compassion: Verily in this are signs for a people who reflect." Holy Qur'an (Rum 30:21)

"He it is Who created you from a single self and from it did He make his mate that he may dwell resting unto her." Holy Qur'an (Araf 9:189)

"Men have authoriy over women on account of the qualities with which Allah has caused the one of them to excel the other and for what they spend of their property; therefore, the righteous women are obedient, guarding the unseen that which Allah has guarded."

Holy Qur'an (Nisa 4:34)

"and for the women shall be similar rights (over men) in fairness,." Holy Qur'an (Baqara 2:228)

"but deal kindly with them (women)."

Holy Qur'an (Nisa 4:19)

"Let him with abundance spend of his abundance."

Holy Qur'an (Talaq 65:7)

"and help you (one another) in righteousness and piety, and help you not (one another) in sin and aggression." Holy Qur'an (Ma'ida 5:2)

The Qur'an has talked about the human and lawful foundations and ties. The Prophetic traditions (sunna) has also talked about that. We will mention some traditions which have been reported on the authority of the Prophet (s.a.w.): "All of you are responsibles. And all of you are responsible for your subjects. The emir who (rules) over people is responsible for his subjects. The man is responsible for the people of his house. The woman is responsible for the house of her husband and his children. The slave is responsible for the money of his master. Indeed you are all responsible for your subjects." 21

It has been reported on the authority of Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.), who said: "It is the manner of the Prophets to love women." 22

It has been also reported on his authority (a.s.): "I do not think that a man gets better in faith without loving women better." 23

It is useful here to refer to that the building which woman practices in society is sometimes a direct act and is sometimes through her psychological and moral relationship with her husband and her children. The wife should secure the atmosphere of rest and good association for her husband. She should also secure for him love, affection, and psychological tranqullity. For such psychological atmosphere has great effects on the character of husband and his relations with others and his ability to produce and give. That is because the psychological conditions of man affect all his activities and his relations with others. When family life is full of problems, worries, and tension, it affects the husband's character, work, production, and relations with others. Psychological atmospheres in the family not only affect the husband but also the children. It is difficult for the child who grows up in the atmosphere of hatred and tension and problems and bad treatment to be a righteous character in his behavior and his relation with others and in directing his physical and mental abilities. Sometimes, because of the conditions of bad education, the child becomes an irregularly aggressive human being or he becomes lazy and non-productive or becomes a loiterer and is ready to create problems and commit crimes. However, sound education forms a sound character. So, such education affects the economical, social, and scientific future of the child. Thus the role of woman is very effective in building society through educating and preparing good members for society, and through securing a sound atmosphere for her husband.

In the foregoing texts, the Holy Qur'an and the purified Prophetic traditions have limits for family administrative, organizational, educational, psychological, and lawful rules and foundations. Through these woman takes part in building society.

Accordingly, building the family stands on

1. Love, affection, mercy, and respect between husband and wife.

2. Woman has rights and duties.

3. Man is the leader and supervisor and manager of his house.

4. Man and woman cooperate with each other to run the affairs of life.

5. Man and woman should be moderate in spending, and that they should maintain the economy of their family.

6. They should feel responsibility, namely the husband should feel his responsibility towards his wife and the members of his family. Meanwhile, the wife should feel her responsibility towards her husband, her children, and her family. For she is responsible for looking after her house and her children. Moreover, she is responsible for bringing up her children in a good manner and treating them with love and kindness.

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21. Bukhari, Sahih, vol.3, p.196.

22. Kulaini, Furu mina al-Kafi (3rd Edition), vol.5, p.320.

23. Ibid.

Adopted from the book : "Woman and Society" by : "Al-Balagh Foundation"