Be Appreciative for Your Husband

Adopted from the book : "Principles of Marriage" by : "Sheikh Ibrahim Amini"

If a person is generous and charitable with the wealth that he has acquired from hard work, the appreciation and notice given in response to such acts will warm that person's inner feelings and give him a feeling of accomplishment. Acts of goodwill may then become second nature to the person whereby it becomes a habit to spend and share one's wealth for those in need. However, if the acts of goodwill are taken for granted and unappreciated, the person may lose the desire and drive to do good. It would be natural for a person to conclude that it was a waste to give away his hard earned money when it was unappreciated.

Gratitude and appreciation are admirable characteristics in a person and it is the secret by which one may attract charitable acts.

Even Allah has mentioned that gratitude for His blessings are conditional on the continual perpetuation of his grace upon mankind:

"And when your Lord made it known: If you are grateful would certainly give to you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is fully severe"(14:7)

Dear madam! your husband is also human. Like everyone else, he enjoys being appreciated. He is willing to support his family and regards it as a moral and lawful obligation. When he is thanked and appreciated for doing his duty, those duties no longer seem to be a burden.

Whenever he buys home appliances or something like clothes and shoes for you and the children, be happy and thank him. Show your gratitude for the trivial things he does such as buying groceries, taking the family on trips and gives you your allowance. By showing your appreciation, you will make your husband feel good and rewarded for the trouble he has taken. Be careful that you do not take his duties for granted and become indifferent towards his contributions to the family. He may become disheartened about the welfare of the family. He may prefer to spend his money elsewhere or on himself.

If a friend or relative presented you with a pair of stockings or a bunch of flowers, you would thank them repeatedly. So it is only natural and fair to show appreciation to your husband for his consideration and thoughtfulness. Do not think that you would be belittling yourself by demonstrating your appreciation. On the contrary, you would be loved and cared for more because you appreciate the efforts of your husband whereas snobbism and selfishness can only lead towards great misfortunes.

The following are some Traditions referring to the characteristics of gratitude:

"Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'The best women among your women are those who show appreciation when their husbands bring home something and are not discontented if nothing is brought home'." 42

"Imam Sadiq (AS) also stated: ' Any woman who says to her husband that she has not seen any good things from him then she has fallen in her credibility and has voided her acts of worship'." 43

"The Messenger (SA) of Allah stated: 'Whoever does not thank the people who help him is, in fact, not showing his gratitude to Allah for His Blessings'." 44