The Prophet of Islam : The Perfect Exemplar
We all know that one of the most important factors of Islam's advancement was the perfect conduct of tile Prophet (S.A.W.). This fact is stated in the Holy Quran where Allah, the Almighty, says:"And had you been rough, hard hearted they would certainly have dispersed from around you."
Quran 3:158
The Prophet of Allah (S.A.W.) treated all people equally. His deep and indescribable love for humanity was perfectly manifested in his angelic being. He attended to all Muslims' needs equally.
"And the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) divided his moments between his companions: he would attend to this and attend to that equally.''
Rawdah al-Kafi .p.268
He also condemned ill nature; he repeatedly said:
"Ill nature is evil and the worst of you are those who are ill-natured."
Nahj a1-Fasahah, p.371
and:
"O sons of Abdul Muttalib. surely you will not (he able to) satisfy people with your money, therefore meet them with cheerful faces and joyful conduct."
Wasail ash-shia v.2, p. 222
Anas ibn Malik. the Prophet's servant, used to say when he remembered his (the Prophets) excellent traits:
"I have served the Prophet (SAW.) for ten years; during this time he has never said woe' (as if complaining) to me, regardless of what I did or did not do."
Fada'il aI-Khamsahv.1. p. 119
Furthermore, good conduct and cheerfulness are factors which prolong life. Imam Sadiq (A.S.) said in this regard:
"Kindness and good manners make land flourish and prolong lives."
Was?'il ash-Shia, v.2, P. 221.
Dr. Sanderson has written this on the subject:
"Kindness is an important factor in treating and preventing Illnesses. Most medications result in unwanted sideeffects along with a temporary cure, while kindness causes everlasting cures to all parts of the body...kindness moves all powers of the body. Blood circulation in those who enjoy good manners is excellent, and their breathing is better ..."
Pirozi Fikr
There is a beautiful point in Imam Sadiq's statement. He (A.S.) says there is a direct relationship between kindness and good manners and stated that they are among the factors which prolong life. The reason behind this is that kind people enjoy a sense of happiness and satisfaction, thus, both kindness and good manners have the same desired effects. Imam Sadiq (A.S.) also considered these traits elements for achieving happiness when he said:
"Part of man's happiness is his good manners.
Musadrak a/-Wasail V.2, p.83
Samuel Smiles added on the same topic:
"Good manners and emotional balance have their effects on man's development and happiness just like other powers and Instincts do. As a matter of fact, individual's happiness is greatly related to their affections and good manners."
Akhlaq.
In addition, good manners make life easier and increase subsistence and harmony, Imam Ali (A.S.) said:
"Good manners bestow subsistence lavishly and make friends (more) intimate."
Ghurar al-Hikam p 279
S. Marden wrote the following in his book:
I know a restaurant manager who became very wealthy and popular because of his good conduct. I learned that travelers and tourists traveled long distances to reach his restaurant; they did so because in this restaurant they liked the privacy and the pleasant atmosphere. When the customers are at the restaurant, the said manager cheerfully greets them in a manner that is not duplicated anywhere. In fact, in this restaurant they do not experience the cold nuisance complaints that you find in other restaurants. In this restaurant the employees try to show affection and build friendly relationships with the customers, instead of the usual sellerbuyer relationships. The employees smile a lot and give special attention to serving their customers,this attention stems from love and affection for their guests. The employees establish such relationships with their guests that the guests not only feel that they should come back but also bring their friends. It is clear how effective this method is in attracting new customers"
He added:
"Good Manners have not played a more important role throughout history than at this time. They have become the capital of those who wish to bring happiness and success to their lives."
-Khish tan Sazi
Imam Sadiq (A.S.) included cheerfulness among the signs of man's ability to reason. He said:
"Those who have the most perfect reasoning amongst people are those who have the best manners.
Was?'iI ash-Shiah v. 2. Pg. 221
Samuel Smiles says:
"History shows us that the greatest geniuses were happy and Optimistic men, for they realized the real meaning of life and tried to manifest their reason in their flesh. When one reflects on their achievements, he can clearly notice their healthy souls and thinking and their kindness and enthusiasm The greatest souls and most intelligent people all enjoy cheerful faces and happiness. Their manners were examples for those who adhered to them and were influenced by their conduct, hence they followed the light of' their kindness and natural happiness"
Akhlaq
The Honorable Messenger (S.A.W.) said:
"The most important traits which will lead my nation to Paradise are fear of Allah and good manners"
Wasail ash-shia, v .2. p. 221
Consequently it is incumbent upon him whose leader is reason and who desires to lead an honorable life to achieve this priceless spiritual capital, good manners. In order to eradicate an unwanted characteristic, man needs earnest desire to reach his goal. Aglance at the disadvantages that bad manners leave provides an incentive to lead him into struggling to eradicate such manners.
Optimism
Trust and Peace of Mind Man needs stability more than any other thing in his unstable life. Those who engage themselves struggling to achieve goals without being equipped with the weapon of stability face failure and defeat . Infact, as one's responsibilities increase, his need for stability and assurance also increases. In light of this fact, it becomes the duty of everyone to learn how to avoid anxiety and revert to stability and assurance.
Struggling to acquire wealth, power, fame, and other material gains is not but falsehood. Efforts made in this path will go to waste, because mans happiness lies in his own soul, just as the spring of misery lies deep in the heart. Medicine, according to the Prince of the Faithful (A.S.), is within man's own soul, so we cannot find in outside influences the same effect that lies within the powerful resources of the human soul. Because outside influences are temporary, it is impossible that they would lead man to complete satisfaction.
Apictatus says:
"We must let people know that can not find happiness and good luck in places they randomly search for themselves. Real happiness does not lie in power and ability. Both Mirad and Agluis were miserable people despite the great power they had. Likewise, happiness does not lie in wealth and large amounts of money. Croesus, for example, was not happy even though he had vast wealth and treasures. Happiness also cannot be achieved by governmental power nor by political chokes. The Roman Ceasers were unhappy despite their great power.
"Actually, happiness can not be achieved by acquiring the above mentioned gains together. Nero, Sandnapal and Aghamnin were known for their continuous weeping because they were like toys in the hands of misfortune. Yet they had all the benefits of wealth, power and fame. Therefore, man has to search for the means of real happiness in his own soul and conscience."
We must admit that the solution for many unsolved questions in nature, and the rapid increase in machinery are not enough to bring about a worry free life. This new machinery is not only unable to reduce the amount of suffering in the world, but has also brought with it many new problems and uncertainties.
Therefore, in order to free ourselves from the continuous sufferings of life and go beyond the black clouds which darken our souls, we urgently need rightly guided minds. The mind can secure human happiness the same way it was able to bring about many advancements in our material living. It is here that the power of thinking becomes clearly manifested and shows its astonishing influence on man's life.
Clear mindedness is a fluent spring which advance man to a more excellent degree than material gains can by introducing him to a vast new world. Righteous thinking prevents clever individuals from becoming toys in the hands of money. Those whose thinking abilities grow to become the center of their existence can steadfastly stand in the way of infliction when it befalls them, by adopting a positive outlook. In order to safeguard ourselves from being victims of various events, and to protect ourselves from the waves of negligence and exaggeration we must establish a scale of thinking for ourselves by which we can judge our behavior and conduct; hence guiding our souls to correct thinking that may equip us with spiritual powers to defeat anxiety.
A leading western scholar says:
"Perhaps we are unable to elect the counted individuals who's conduct and ways of thinking are most hike ours, but we are free to select our thoughts. We are the judges of our minds. We may choose that which we deem appropriate. The external causes and influences which we observe are not part of us that they may cand force us to think in a certain way. Therefore, we must choose the correct way of thinking and eradicate disadvantageous ones. Our souls are directed to the path of our thoughts. In other words, our thoughts direct us in any manner they wish; because of this we should not allow ourselves to hold any evil thoughts or to occupy our minds with that which we resent. Such thoughts can capture us and make us victims of different kinds of misery. We must struggle continuously towards achieving perfection and reaching the noblest hopes and most honorable goals as the secret of success and happiness lie in righteous thinking only."
The Effects of Optimism
In the same manner in which the body system becomes disturbed by various illnesses, the harmony of thoughts, which are held by one's mind becomes disturbed by different factors and evil traits. Despite the powers of the mind, it cannot be independent of a person's conduct. Therefore, man can only feel happiness when he enjoys good manners that conform to his thinking, conduct and enthusiasm. It is the responsibility of men to eradicate the roots of the traits that blacken his comfort and happiness.Two elements which help create harmonious thinking are optimism and a positive outlook towards life and others. Optimism and positive expectations of those around you are guaranties of comfort for those who live in the field of humanity. Contrary to optimism are pessimism and ill-thinking of others which bring a halt to the ability of righteous thinking and reduce the ability to move towards perfection. Optimism can best be described as a light in darkness which widens as the horizon of thinking does. With it the love of kindness grows in man, thus counting a new development in his view on life and in his outlook at it. Enabling man to see a more beautiful color of life, hence, achieving the ability to observe all people in a new light and the power to equally and justly judge each one of them. An optimistic man's sufferings vanish and his hopes increase while keeping his apparent and spiritual relations with the various elements of the society in the best manners.
There is not a factor able to reduce the number of problems in a man s life like optimism can. The features of happiness are more apparent on the faces of optimists, not only in the instances of satisfaction but throughout life in positive and negative situations alike. The light of happiness shines from the optimist's comfortable soul of the optimist at all times.
The need to acquire other's trust is essential. In order for trust to exist between individuals, optimism must become part of their lives. This is a fact which has its direct influence on the happiness of the individual and society. Trust among the members of any society is an important factor in the advancement of that society. The opposite is also true, for mistrust can always be a destructive element in the future of any social entity. The deeper the communication is between the various elements of the society, the faster development and advancement are. Also, among the leading social fruits of optimism are harmony, cooperation and trust. Moreover, peace in any social life can only be enjoyed if the relationship between the members of that life are built on affection along with trust and good expectations of others.
A scholar in this field of study said:
"Good expectation is a feature of belief, and nothing can be achieved without belief and hope."
When one's trust in others increases, his trust in himself also increases; this is one of the natural occurrences which happen in all societies with no exceptions. At this point we should not ignore the fact that there does exist a big difference between optimism and trust in others, and the unreasonable quick belief in any person. Trust does not mean that a Muslim should totally submit to those he does not know or listen to what they say without investigating their realities and examining them. Likewise, we cannot generalize the concept of trust to include those who are open in their crimes and injustices. In other words, trust has exceptions and should exclude some members of the society under certain conditions. In fact, a trusting person practices scrutiny and studies the expected conclusions of every matter. Therefore, his conduct is built upon precaution and carefulness, and his actions depend on careful examination and deep reflections.
Islam Calls for Optimism and Trust
Islam has planted root in the believers by filling their hearts with faith. It is in this manner that our religion leads its adherents to comfort and stability. The Holy Quran states that the Honorable Messenger (S.A.W.) was so confident that the hypocrites criticized him for it.Islam commands its followers to trust each other, and to assume that another's intentions are good. Therefore, it is not permitted for anyone to judge a Muslim's actions as corrupt without proper evidence for such a judgment.
The Prince of the Faithful (A.S.) said:
"Expect good from your brothers, unless something happen that makes you rule otherwise; and do not assume a word of his is evil when there is still the possibility of it being good".
Jami' as-Sa'adat v.2, p. 28
When people trust each other, it increases their love towards each other and brings harmony into their lives. The Muslims' Imams expressed the importance of trust in many ways. Imam Ali (A.S.) once said:
"He who trusts others gains love from them."
Ghurar al-Hikam.,
Dr. Mardin is quoted as saying:
"When you establish a friendship with someone, try to observe only his positive points: then try to appreciate in your consciences those good traits von have found in him. If you are able to center this advise in your mind, on will live a good and satisfactory life, and will discover that everyone presents his good and kind sides to you while trying to win your friendship for himself."
Pirozi Fikr (Persian,)
It is even possible that optimism and trust affect the thinking and conduct of the misguided ones. In summary, they (trust and optimism) provide grounds for the salvation of such people.
Imam Ali (A.S.) once said:
"Trust rescues him who indulged in sin."
Dr. Dale Carnegie states:
"Recently I met the manager of a franchise of restaurants. This particular chain of restaurant is called "The Honorable Deal". In these restaurants, which were established in 1885, the employees never presented a bill to the customers; instead the customers order what they wish to eat and after the meal they calculate the charges and pay the cashier without any questions. "I said to the manager: Of course you have a secret inspector?! You can't trust all the customers of your restaurant?' He answered: No, we do not secretly watch our customers, yet, we do know that our method is appropriate, otherwise we would not have been able to advance during this last half century.' The customers of this restaurant feel that they are dealt with honorably, it stems from the idea that the poor, rich, thief, and beggar all try to conform to the good conduct which is expected of them here."
Mr. Louis, a social psychologist, has said:
"If you interact with an unstable, ill-natured man and are trying to lead him to goodness and stability, try to make him feel that you trust him, treat him like a respected and honorable man. You will find that he tries to keep the trust that you have placed in him. Consequently, in order for him to prove that he is worth your trust, he will try to do what makes him qualified for your trust."
How to Win Friends
Dr. Gilbert Roben wrote:
"Trust children. What I mean is deal with them as if they have never made a mistake. In other words erase their past and forgive their wrong conduct. Try to assign important duties to those who do not behave well. With every new job that you give them make it appear as if they have improved their behavior, and that they have become qualified for the job you have given them. It is possible to remove the obstacles which stand in the way of correction by good conduct and trusting the ones to be corrected. From here we can say that most of the unwanted aare not but reactions to fill space in the lives of the individuals."
Sir Yal Bint used to suggest to trust children who have a habit of stealing with some money, and give them jobs which conform to the ability of those who are lazy.
Trust guarantees comfort to the person.
Imam Ali (A.S.) said:
"Trust is a comfort to the heart and security in faith."
Ghurar a/-Hikam p. 376
Trust also releases the pressure created by the miseries and misfortunes of life.
Imam Ali (A.S) stated:
"Trust reduces depression."
Dr. Mardin said:
"There is not a thing that makes life more beautiful in our eyes, reduces our sufferings, and paves the way for success like optimism and trust do. Therefore, be careful of painful thoughts just as you are cautious of illnesses and their dangerous effects. Open your minds to optimistic thinking and you will see how easily you can rescue yourself from existing thoughts."
Pirozi Fikr
It is essential for Muslims to behave with each other in such a way that does not leave room for ill expectations to penetrate their society. Imam Ali (A.S.), on this subjects, used to advise the Muslims to think positively about each other and not to act in a manner that would make others mistrust them. He (A.S.) also recommended that people should avoid places of suspicion. He is quoted as saying:
"He who holds hope in you has given you his trust, therefore do not disappoint him.
Ghurar al-H ikam p. 680
Imam Ali (A.S.) made the judging point for man's reason his thinking about others when he said:
"Man's expectation is the scale for his reason, and his conduct is the most truthful witness to his authenticity."
Ghurar al- Hikam p. 474
Because an individual whose expectations of people is negative lacks the ability to reason logically, Imam Ali (A.S.) made the Muslim's refusal of ill-thinking a sign of their spiritual power. He also said:
"One who refuses ill expectations of his brother, has healthy reason and his heart is at peace."
Ghurar aI-Hikam p. 676
Samuel Smiles said:
"It has been proven that those who have strong natures and spirits, are naturally happy and hopeful in life. They look at everyone and everything with trust and ease. Wise men see beyond every cloud a shining sun, and realize that behind every misery and infliction, exists the happiness they long for. These people find new power every time they are inflicted with a new problem; and find hope with every depression or sadness. Such nature enjoys real happiness, and its advocates are lucky. The light of gladness shines in their eyes and they can always be seen smiling. The hearts of these individuals sparkle like stars and they see everything with an understanding eye and with the color they wish."
Imam Sadiq (A.S.) considered good expectation to be one of the Muslim's rights on each other.
"Among the rights of a believer to another believer.., is not to doubt him."
Usul al-Kafi V 1. p. 394
Truly the element most capable of giving man optimism and trust is faith. Had all people been one nation who believed in Allah, His Messenger, and the Last Day, it would have been natural for everyone to truly trust each other. The lack of faith among people is the reason for the acute disease of mistrust in society. A believer, whose heart is comfortable with belief and trust in Allah, depends on that unlimited power whenever he is inflicted with weakness. He seeks refuge in Allah during hardships: this trains his souls and deeply affects his morals.
Pessimism
The Bright and Dark Points of Life Man's life is a mixture of pain and comfort. Each one of these two states absorbs a portion of life in this world. Every individual faces his own share of experiences and becomes a victim of pain and comfort from the problems and disasters of life. It is according to this bitter fact that man's life fluctuates between pain and ease.
We, as humans, cannot change this eternal law which rules our lives so as to subject it to our own desires. Yet, after we come to realize the deep meaning of this life, we can direct our vision towards the beautiful side of existence and cast away the ugly entities which tarnish the fact of life in this vast universe; this universe that is filled with the amazement of creation and precision of wisdom; which it tells us that every creature exists with an aim for which has been created. On the other hand, we can ignore or forget the bright points in the universe and concentrate on the gloomy spots. Finally it is up to every individual to choose the direction of his thinking. Hence, choosing the color and view of life he wishes to experience.
It is incumbent on us to prepare ourselves to face and choose that which is appropriate for us in order to avoid disadvantageous factors, so that we do not loose the ability of self-control. Otherwise, we may face irreplaceable loses, or even fall victim to the typhoons of misfortune.
Many of us imagine that had the sequence of events in our lives been different, we might have been happy people. In fact, these people's problems are not related to the events of their lives, but to the methods in which they deal with them. It is possible for us to change the influence of such events, or even transform some of their effects into useful ones.
A famous thinker wrote:
~ Our thoughts always operate in the domain of hate and dissatisfaction, so we always complain and cry. The reason behind this crying is in our consciences. We are built in such a manner that our existence feeds on that which is not appropriate for our souls or spirits. Every day we wish and hope for new things, or perhaps we do not really know what we want. Yet, we believe that others have acquired happiness so we envy them while we suffer. We are like misbehaving children who invent new excuses and start weeping. Our souls suffer from their weeping and we do not relax until we make them understand the facts and abandon what they falsely imagine and their unruly wants.
These children, as a result of their numerous desires, become blind to everything but miseries. It is our obligation to open their eyes towards the good side of life. We must make them understand that none but those who open their eyes to the garden of life, can cultivate its flowers and roses. Those blind ones will obtain nothing but thorns. If we are able to pass the borders of depression and pessimism and examine the facts, we find that even in these times, which have fallen in a deep horrifying pit, there are exits everywhere with roses and flowers in the garden of life that call the sights of onlookers to themselves at all times.
Thought has a deep affect on man's happiness. In fact, the only effective factor on man's happiness is his ability to think and reason. An unprecedented incident is unbearable and destructive in the eyes of the pessimist, while in the viewpoint of the optimist, who sees things in a positive way, such incidents do not lead to submission nor do they cause a person to lose his sense of resistance under any condition. Optimists never abandon the borders of modesty, restraint and patience.
Those who condition themselves to think that the axis of evil surrounds them will only live a painful, gloomy and uncomfortable life. They will, in effect, loose many of their powers and abilities as a result of their exaggerated sensitivity and drown themselves in fatal ignorance of the blessings and good things of the world.
According to one scholar:
"The world reacts to man exactly as man deals with the world. Thus, if you laugh at the world, it will laugh with you. If you look at the world gloomily, it will appear gloomy. If you meditate on the world, it will count you among the mediators, and if you are merciful and truthful, you will find people around you who will love you and open the treasures of love and respect of their hearts to you."
Despite the bitter appearance of pain, it produces special fruit for the mind and soul. Man's spiritual abilities become more clearly manifested in the darkness of pain. Reason and human spirit evolve in the folds of continuousacrifices and unsubmissive struggleto the peak of human perfection.
The Negative Effects of Pessimism
Pessimism is a dangerous spiritual illness. It is the cause of many losses, defects and disappointments. Pessimism is a painful misfortune that tortures the human soul and leaves unamendable defects on man's personality which cannot be erased.When experiencing pain and/or inflictions people tend to become sensitive, at this point it is possible for pessimism to appear as a result of a strong revolt in the emotions and feelings of an individual. Pessimism which enters the mind in this way leaves its influence on man's thinking process.
The beauty of creation is not manifested in the eyes of one whose spiritual mirror has become darkened by the shadow of pessimism. Moreover, even happiness appears to him in the garment of boredom and disaster, and his ill thinking cannot comprehend conduct of innocent individuals clear of evil aims. Those whose thought become so negative will lose all of their advantageous abilities, because with their incorrect imagination they create many problems for themselves; hence, wasting their talents by worrying about incidents which they have not and probably will be not faced with. As we have said before, the effects of optimism spread to its surroundings and enliven the spirit with hope; likewise, pessimism dictates anxiety and pain to its surroundings, and eventually deprives them of the light of hope, which clears the path of life for mankind.
The disadvantageous effects of pessimism are not limited to the soul only,they adversely affect the body too. Studies show that pessimistic patients have a lower rate of cure. According to a medical doctor:
It is more difficult to treat those who are suspicious of everything and everyone, than to rescue a person who jumps in the sea attempting to commit suicide. Giving medicine to an individual who lives in constant anxiety is like placing water into boiling oil. In order for any medicine to he helpful it is essential for the patient to preserve his sense of comfort and belief."
Those who suffer from pessimism clearly experience a sense of loneliness and suspicion when dealing with others. As a result of such unsatisfactory situations these people destroy their abilities to develop and advance; hence, destining themselves to an unwanted life. In light of these facts, pessimism is found to be a main factor in suicide.
If we examine any sector of' human society, we will find that backbiting and gossip stem from suspicion that is paired with a lack of examination and reflection. Despite their weaknesses in judging and their vast imaginations, people often judge others without verifying the subject matter involved. These people imagine without confirming their suspicion, in some circumstances their personal aims can easily be depicted. This great shortcoming causes the ties of unity and sincere relationships to break and deprives people of trust in each other, which leads to the corruption of manners and souls as well.
Most incidents of enmity, hate and envy which are harmful to both the individual and society, result from suspicion which contradicts reality. Suspicion spreads in the society to point that it may even occupy the minds of philosophers and scholars. We can pinpoint many instances in history when scholars have committed grave mistakes by viewing their societies from the pessimistic angle; thus building their ideas on the basis of criticism and search for the shortcomings in the social system. So instead of serving the causes of happiness, these confused scholar poison the spirit of their societies with their harmful thinking. They also subject the fundamentals of belief to criticism and disgust.
Abu al-'Ala al-Mauri was among the pessimistic scholars. This famous philosopher thought so negatively of life that he called for the prevention of intecourse in order to wipe out mankind; consequently riding itself of the sufferings of life.