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Funny Stuff

School Jokes

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!

A math joke

Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

A history joke

What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!

A math joke

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair!

You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

School collection 04

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!

An ideal homework excuse

Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

A history joke

Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

A history joke

Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!

Why is that?

Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!

A math joke

Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Teacher: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!

A math joke

I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that?
I didn't take algebra!

A math joke

Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

A history joke

Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Because the poor didn't have anything worth stealing!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Teacher: When was Rome built?
Pupil: At night.
Teacher: Why did you say that?
Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?
Pupil: The school bus!